I grew discouraged while searching for jobs and started dreaming about my ideal life. I don't even know if my ideal life would involve a career anymore... sadly, the reality of my situation means that no job is not an option at this point. But It didn't stop me from imagining a world of six inch stilettos, a plethora of Motel bodysuits, a hubby who supports my creative endeavors, and weekends entertaining friends at my seaside mansion.
I daydream far more than any person should; I think I do it to give myself hope and something to look forward to that is built into an attainable fantasy of my anticipated future when I have nothing else in my immediate future to look forward to. I see no harm in it- after all, if I am not hoping for something, I have no hope, and what is a life lived with no hope? Life is full of surprises- it's hard to plan anything down the road when you don't even know if you will be working tomorrow. It's hard to know if anyone will get back to you from all of those jobs you applied to. It is hard to know if you will wake up with a clear face, or three new zits. I'm not sure where all of this is going; I'm just saying that in moments of life when everything around me seems to be crumbling down, relationships, my bank account, my ego, (yes, I am dramatic like that), I like to look forward to what I anticipate my future will be if I work hard enough. The following paragraphs will document what I would find to be a perfect future.
I would have a beautiful house in the Hamptons on the water. It would have a huge backyard and a sun room that had perfect views of the beach. I'd have a huge kitchen where I would cook awesome meals and bake awesome desserts, and that kitchen would have windows overlooking the water. I would have lilac trees, and hydrangea bushes, and maybe even rose bushes in the front and back yard. I would have a pool, and a mint-green vespa to get around town on, with a basket in the front to put my fresh produce when I visited the local farmer's market. I would also be the proud owner of a vintage jaguar and some other luxury car, like that sick Mercedes SUV that looks like a Range Rover (I'm not a dude, so I don't really pay attention to the specific names of cars... I just know that I want it).
I would have a husband. He would be a hard worker, but he would know how to have fun- he would be down to earth and far from stuffy or pretentious. We might do recreational drugs on the weekend... nothing crazy though. He wouldn't be an addict. He would have a full head of beautiful hair, a big, warm smile, and beautiful eyes.... oh, and beautiful hands (hands are one of the most important features on a man for me). He would be sweet and thoughtful and charming. I could hold an intellectual conversation with him, or just be my crazy-ass self and he would love every minute of it. He wouldn't be a lumberjack or have huge muscles, but he would know how to fix the faucet or change a tire and build me a fire. He would enjoy grilling and manly things like fine whisky and soccer matches. But he would also like to go to concerts and be spontaneous (like drinking germ-x or smashing wine bottles on trees... jk... the past is the past).
I would pursue writing and costuming, and hopefully provide some portion of the income doing so. But I would have a schedule that allowed me to be home for dinner; and I would make awesome meals to relax at the end of the day, while I had a large glass of Rose. I would also throw many parties in my huge house. I would string fairy lights in the back yard and have a copper, screened-in fire pit for summer get-togethers. I would be like Ina Garten and make picnic baskets full of yummy pasta salads and baked goods and bottles of wine for get-togethers with friends on the beach or a romantic date with my husband. If my creative endeavors did not provide me with much money, my husband would be happy to provide for me. And I would be happy to be dressed in some sexy little number with dinner ready whenever he got home (yes, I know this goes against what I should stand for as a feminist, but I fucking love heels and tight dresses and lingerie and cooking for others).
I would have enough time and money to travel the world- we would take an annual vacation to some far off location. But I would also take weekend trips around the East Coast and stay in ideal locations on lakes or the water. My husband and I would go on weekend get-aways to vineyards or maybe even hiking. We would go to art galleries and museums and concerts all over and discover new restaurants, stores, and bars along the way. We would own a sail boat and spend a good portion of the summer on it. If we were wealthy enough, we would have a yacht. A girl can dream, right?
How I would spend my days:
Taking "artistic" photos. I am really good a photographing human subjects, because I know my angles (I spent 12 years of my life taking dance and growing up in front of a mirror, I know what makes a bitch look good). This is an old photo of my brother... I'm so talented. jk. ahahahahaha
Making my shitty, emo paintings would be another past-time in my fantasy future. Maybe I would even sell them in local galleries (I doubt anyone would ever want to buy this shit though) haha. If my future husband was supporting me, I would certainly have more time to paint.
Refurbishing vintage pieces of furniture and decorating my mansion. I laquered this little gem. I'd have the sickest house ever with my great decorating sense.
Sewing Costumes! I sewed all of the costumes in this pic.. and they weren't even completely finished here. Please ignore the blurred out faces- I didn't want to post pics of people without their permission :) I would sew custom costumes from home. I'd have an entire room for sewing and painting in my imaginary mansion.
