1. dont drink at work....youll get drunk
2. dont ever give anyone your number...theyre all douche bags.
3. stay away from french dudes, theyll scar you so bad you wont even be able to listen to daft punk.
4. do treat yourself to some jeffrey campbell booties...theyre the comfiest 6 inch heels known to man.
5. dont eat san loco...your stomach will hate you and youll wake up fat.
6. do enjoy the smell of the spunk trees in june...they lose their spunk scent and start to smell like lilacs.
7. do visit your ex boyfriend in the hamptons because life is 1000000x better when youre near the beach.
8. dont self tan.
9. embrace your white skin.
10. never ever ever get your hopes up. they will always be shot down. its only when youre least expecting things to go well that they actually dom
11. dont ever take your health for granted.
