I am currently sitting on a greyhound bus back to my shitty, New York existence. My ipod is dead as disco, I am about 15 lbs heavier than I was just a month ago, I'm having severe anxiety over my future, and I am 100% positive that my apartment will smell heavily of cat shit and piss upon my return. Furthermore I can't even use proper punctuation without a great degree of difficulty on my outdated Android. But hey life could be much, much worse.
Despite the fact that I spent the majority of my time home eating and am now 15 lbs fatter, home was most enjoyable...even if it rained 2 out of the 3 days that I was home. Anyone reading this whom actually knows me will probably think I am insane for thinking that I gained 15 lbs, but the scale at the doctor's office doesn't lie. Neither does the fact that my belt doesn't fit without having to suck in, or the fact that I have chafed the hell out of my inner thighs and love handles when I wear my black work pants. I have to take immediate action before this gets out of control. It reminds me of my freshman year at FIT. I lost a ton of weight that Fall and then when I went home for Christmas break, I gained all of it back and then some over the course of the six weeks we had for break. Upon returning to the city that January, my sister took me on a death march across the city to go to the Apple store and my too-tight jeans chafed my love handles and inner thighs so severely, that I had rug-burn like abrasions that lasted for a week. I can never let that happen again, because then it spurs this vicious cycle where I throw in the towel and start eating cookies out of sadness and failure and make the situation even more devastating and hard to bounce back from. When I am back in the city I will also have to post a proper blog with photos, since my phone also won't let me post pics.
I have been thinking a lot about grad school these past couple of weeks. I cannot believe that I have been in NYC for 9 months now and still only have part-time work at Highline. I will be off my parent's insurance next year, which has really made me start to freak out about the thought of a life without insured doctor/dental/and optometry visits (I refuse to ever live a life without insurance and become one of those people whom have to pay $300 out of pocket for a basic doctor's visit or one of those people who just stop going to the dentist because they have no insurance). So now, I am REALLY freaking out about an adult job that comes with proper benefits and a 401K. My health is super important to me since I freak out over little things and visit webmd.com more than any person should. If I can't find a "proper" job, perhaps my best option at this point would be to immerse myself back into academia. I do love writing papers and attending classes.... It is definitely something I intend to look into this week on my days off.
Speaking of health, i had my annual lady appointment (the primary reason i went home) and every time I leave that office, I cannot help but think to myself how lucky my 72 year old OBGYN is. I mean, the dude is 72 years old and gets to feel up 25 year old breasts all day. I bet his geriatric friends are all jealous... hahahahhaa. Ew.
View from the dock at CowFish in Hampton Bays... I think I could have a cocktail sitting on this wrap-around deck every day and life would be good.
Beach on Dune Road.
Bouquet of wild flowers I picked while at home... I'm so fucking fancy... NOT.
The highlight of my trip home.. Bijou, my pride and joy. He is the best cat in the world. And the cutest.
