Dear ____________,
I'd like to say I am grateful that I have a job in this economy when so many people do not; however, this job has merely served but one purpose for the past nine months- to save money so that I can find a better job and move far away from here. I will say that I am also grateful to have worked with such a great team of people (minus the one kid who came to work late every day and would often disappear and I would later find him sleeping in the bays of the stockroom while I was busting my ass and trying to run a business). The only thing I will truly miss about this job are the people that I work with. Even if I don't hang out with my co-workers on a personal level outside of work (because most are minors and I don't want to be involved with minors and alcohol), I feel like I formed lasting friendships with a handful of co-workers, and I will remember all of the people I have worked with down the road and hold a special place in my heart for them.
The main reason I feel the need to resign from my current position, is the company itself. Having grown up feeling like I was never pretty enough, and still feeling that way inside most days (despite what feedback I am given from the rest of the world) I cannot morally tolerate the ways in which I am expected to recruit and hire ONLY good looking individuals. I mean, how can I feel good or non-hypocritical hiring "conventionally" attractive individuals and turning away more qualified workers, when I feel I'm not even up to company standards of attractiveness to be working there myself? I feel like a liar and a hypocrite every time someone voluntarily comes in to apply for a job, and I know they won't even be considered once they show up for the group interview because of their physical appearance? These are people who actually WANT jobs, and we turn them away, and then turn around and 'recruit' a pretty, thin 17 year old who can only work one day a week, and doesn't care about work... she only got the job because of looks that good genes blessed her with. It's not right. And I won't be part of it any longer.
I am tired of having less rights than our customers. The company does everything in it's power to seemingly stop internal theft from occurring, but still continues to give customers better deals than associate's can get, even with their employee discount. I can't allow myself to be disrespected by rude customers any longer either. I wouldn't let someone talk down to me on the street, so why would I allow someone to disrespect me in the workplace? I can't tell you how many times I have wanted to say something back to a customer who has berated me, or said something highly offensive, and I can't even defend myself (when I am in the right) for fear of losing my job. It's not fair that I can allow a customer I know for a fact to be stealing, continue to walk around the store, and openly refer to me and my fellow associates as "nosy bitches" for keeping an eye on them when they leave a trail of sensors. I can't work for a company that hires Loss Prevention personnel that show up only once a year, and hit on every female associate working for the company. I'm sorry, but for a company that claims they take racism and sexual harassment very seriously, I have seen little proof they honor that claim when we have LP guys texting associates randomly to go out for drinks. If there is one thing that agitates me, it's sexual favoritism in the work place. Even if I am the victim of said sexual favoritism, it disgusts me when it is taking place under the guise of professionalism.
I know that the company has been slapped with lawsuits in the past for discrimination and harassment, but apparently the actions they have claimed to have taken to eradicate said victimization haven't really been fully executed, because discrimination and sexual favoritism is a large part of the internal on-goings. I can't stand the dress code or 'look policy' either, as it clearly eradicates and sort of individualism or room for self expression. I am not a clone, and I don't want to dress, look, or sound like any other person other than the person I am on the inside (and that's a girl who likes her heels, her dark nail polish, and her makeup).
I am so tired of missing out on family events, functions and outings with friends, and major holidays because I just can't call out or take time off without scheduling it months in advance. Even though I am allotted sick days, I can't use them without screwing over another associate who will either not get their scheduled day off, or work a 14 hour day. Even when I went to the ER, I went to work the next day, just so another manager wouldn't have to work for 14 hours straight. That's not right in my book. Not just with this company, but in combination with past retail jobs I have held, I have missed out on Mother's days, father's days, family dinner's out, Christmas Eve festivities, and numerous parties and evenings with friends. I have worked holiday's most working individuals get off, including Labor Day, Memorial Day, the Fourth of July, Good Friday, Christmas Eve, New Year's Eve, New Year's day, and others. I cannot blame a job for the dissolution of my relationship, but the fact that I couldn't take off more than three days at a time to see my boyfriend certainly didn't help. I have missed Birthday's, Valentine's days, and friday nights I would have liked to have spent with my significant other.
I have worked fourteen hour days and 50 hour weeks without overtime pay. I have driven home at 12am midnight, only to wake up 4 or 5 hours later to be back at work at 6 or 7am. I know I've never been a Prisoner of War or a victim of torture, but I can safely say that driving on only 4 hours of sleep is dangerous, and working a 10 hour day on only 4 hours of sleep three times a week fucks with a person's mind. I'm already emotional, so I am like a ticking time bomb when I'm sleep deprived, hating my job, and having personal issues. I wouldn't even mind working so much If I were getting paid overtime or even doing something creative. But this job is the antithesis of creative. I can't execute control over anything in the store. I am controlled by a company who has a high turn over rate and doesn't care about their employees the way that a company who wants to prosper should.
Yeah. That'd be my letter of resignation if I didn't need a reference. Thank god it will be over soon. I just hope I'm not kicking myself in the head a month from now as my savings dwindles and I sit here still searching for a job. Then I'll probably regret my actions and hate myself. Oh well. I'm not going to live forever, and it's do or it's die. It's sink or it's swim. Fuck it. I only have one life and today is the youngest I will ever be. I guess it's better to try and take risks now than to become complacent and hate my job and my life 5 years down the road. And in the mean time, I will have time to work on my crumby book. I'll leave you with some photos. Because I can.
Treated myself to a festive little frock from H&M... only $17. hahaha
It's quite sexual... I fear it may never leave the confines of my room; wouldn't want to make bitches jealous and have them unjustifiably call me a slut. Maybe I will waltz out of work wearing this on my last day....
