\You dream about punching people in your sleep.
Thursday, while pumping gas on my way to work, a lady bug landed on me, which is a sign of fortune and good luck. I ended up having a $600 day at the Shiseido counter (which is awesome for such a small counter) and I received a handful of compliments from customers... which always boosts my self esteem (However, if I hear one more person say I look like a mannequin I might punch someone... because that is an effing lie). My good fortune continued through Friday, when I found out I got the job I had interviewed for Wednesday, so I will soon be starting as the Manager in Training at Hollister! I know it's nothing terribly prestigious, but it's a full time job that pays well, and has benefits (health insurance, 401K) and opportunity for career growth (not that I want to work retail as a career, but I can always transfer to another store in the city if need be). I'm just excited because I can save up even more money before moving to the city to find a theatre job (in costuming)! I was having a fantastic day up until that point, when things took a turn for the worst in the form of rude customers.
I'm not sure what it is with the Holiday season, but the shoppers start to mutate into rabid, volatile consumers, filled with greed, impatient tendencies, and bitch face. First, I encountered this customer I had helped before. The first time I helped her, was an hour before closing on a Thursday night about a month ago. She came into Macehole's at about 9:00 pm and proceeded to try on 12 (not an exaggeration) Elizabeth Arden lipsticks, which I didn't even sanitize for her, because she just kept picking them up like a machine. She was super annoying, and kept asking me if I thought they looked good on her. 'Bitch, do you have eyes?!' I think deep down we know when something does, and does not look good on us. She asked me what color I was wearing, and wanted to try it on. So I showed her. It was a deep pink shade, and she kept raving about how good it looked on me. I told her she had lighter hair and skin so it would probably look good on her as well, as most pinks look good on people with light coloring. She tried it on and stared at herself in the mirror for like 3 minutes, puckering her lips and reapplying it (I think she has cosmetic OCD). She was then like, "Are you sure that's the color you have on? It looks different on me." "Yes, Ma'am, this is the color that I have on right now." "Hmm, it just (puckers lips into mirror) ... looks so different on me... do you like it? Do you think it looks good?"...
She then proceeded to do this same stint with 10 other lip colors. I was becoming thoroughly annoyed. Especially since she kept staring at me and raving about my lip color. I hate nothing more than someone dissecting my face with their eyes for a prolonged period, it makes me feel so uncomfortable. Finally she left, having bought nothing and left me with a mess of used tissues, lipsticks that needed sanitized and little patience remaining.
Anyhow, Friday afternoon this customer came back. She looked like Hagrid (from Harry Potter) as she was wearing a long, fur coat, and she's a tall lady with a big frame. The cosmetics area was fairly busy that day, and so we were all helping customers at counters other than our own (which is what you do out of courtesy if someone is swamped at their counter). She was at Clarins, and the girl who works at Clarins was busy with another customer in the process of getting a makeover, so I went to ask her if she needed help. Instead of answering the question I'd asked, she stared at me, and said "I know you! You've helped me before. Is that the same color lipstick you had on last time?" I replied, "yes, it is." And then the girl who works the Clarin's counter came over to help her, so I walked away.
Apparently the woman, who I will call 'Hagrid,' from this point forth, made a 'WTF' face at the girl who works at the adjacent Lancome counter, and then turned to another customer and said I was "awfully rude to her." And to that I say, WTF?! I have never been rude to a customer in my life, even when they were a cunt to me, I have held my tongue until they walked away. I cannot believe someone called me rude! I'm only rude to my family! The audacity of that bitch! She then went on to try on every cream, cosmetic, and lotion at the Clarins counter, all while staring at herself in the mirror, and walked away about 45 minutes later, having bought (you guessed it) NOTHING.
I was shocked with horror when the lady who works at Estee Lauder said that Hagrid had called me rude. Apparently she told the Estee Lauder lady she had complimented my lipstick and I didn't even say thank you. She was rude in that instead of answering my question, "Can I help you find anything today?," she said "Are you wearing the same color lipstick you were last time?" 1) That's a question, not a compliment and does not warrant a 'thank you.' 2) I answered her question with a 'yes' reply 3) The girl who works that counter was freed up and came over to further assist her, so I went back to my own counter, as is protocol.
Sadly, she was not the only rude customer I encountered that day. Later on, Clinique counter was especially busy and as there was only one person working there that day, I went over to help some waiting customers. There were four women, in pairs of two. I helped the person who was there first, first. And While I located the product she wanted, I asked the other waiting person, what I could get for her. She told me she wanted the moisture surge night cream. I had to ask the lady who works at the Clinique counter where to find the cream, and once I had, I told the customer I would ring her out just as soon as I had rung out the previous customer (who once again to reiterate, was there first). Apparently she thought I wasn't helping her fast enough, or thought she was entitled to priority over the other customer and got all pissy. "I'll get it somewhere else!" she practically screamed, and stormed off.
WTF. Why are people so rude? NEVER in my life have I been rude to a store associate who was helping me. And it wasn't just me being overly sensitive, because when I was done ringing out the shoppers at clinique, I walked back over to my counter and the girl who works at Clarins was like "I saw that. What was that about?" in reference to the angry customer. I was like, "apparently she thought I should help her before the other lady, even though she was second in line." Bitches are so rude and disrespectful. Have they never worked a retail job before? Obviously not.
Other things that piss me off working at the cosmetic counter: when people tap on the glass while I'm bent down getting out a product. It makes me feel like a lizard in a terrarium must when dumb cunts tap on their glass. Excuse me, I'm getting what you asked for momentarily, there is absolutely no need for you to tap on the glass motioning to the product you have already verbally asked me to get you. FUCKING RUDE. I also hate customers who don't use 'please' and 'thank yous' and speak in harsh, abrupt answers. I hate customers who say "I want this" while pointing to a product before I've even finished asking them 'what can I help you with?' These customers were clearly never taught manners, or never received spankings or firm talking-tos from their parents when they were rude little pigs as children. I will bring my children up to be the most respectful, polite kids ever some day as a result of seeing grown adults who never learned manners.
My terrible day was made slightly better when I helped a woman and her daughter at the Shiseido counter later that evening. She told me I was "the nicest person she had ever had help her in the cosmetics section." I said, 'that's funny, and I very much appreciate that because just today someone called me rude and I don't even know why." hahaha. She told me I was a sweetheart and they must have been having a bad day. I genuinely thanked her for this compliment, and it slightly mended my bruised ego. However, later that night, I dreamed I punched this kid from high school that I was once good friends with repeatedly. I think it might be because i went to bed still feeling angry from the day's events.
Now that I've gone off on a tangent on rude customers, I'd like to list some other things that piss me off (it's good to get it all out, even if it's only in a blog that no one will read):
1. People posting food pictures on facebook. I've done that once, and I feel bad about it to this day. No one give's a fuck what you're eating. No one really gives a fuck about what you've cooked, unless it's a goddamn culinary masterpiece, served artfully. Do bitches think they're good cooks because they can make meatloaf or pasta with veggies thrown in? I see these pictures and I want to slap a ho. Sure, people can be proud of what they've cooked, especially if they're novices in the kitchen, or normally can't cook for shit. But do you really need to snap a pic of every meal and post it for the world to see? You're sloppily plated frozen corn, fried chicken cutlet, and side of rice-a-roni isn't impressing anyone.
2. Stupid scene kids and 'hipsters' posting photos of themselves blowing out smoke from a cigarette/hooka/cigar/joint. You look so cool... you're probably the first person who's ever blown smoke sexily out of your mouth! You're so innovative and creative for artistically photographing smoke coming out of your facial orifice! You should get an award. retarded. Especially when you don't smoke and you're doing it for the purpose of a photo that will get about 80 'likes' from other dumb hipsters.
I think that's it. I need to go take a bath to calm my frazzled nerves now.
