The days are cool and the nights are getting cold... where did summer go? It feels like it was just June... I hardly even remember July. August is a blur (a fun blur), and now September is more than half-way through. I must be getting old if time is flying by at this rate. I remember being a child and every week seemed like an eternity. The months felt like years back then. I don't want summer to end... I don't know if I can survive another brutal NYC winter. They're so depressing. I love the holidays, and the first couple of snowfalls, but by the time January rolls around I want to either run away to an exotic island or kill myself because of how depressing and ugly this city is. Don't get me wrong.. I love Fall, but it lasts about a month and then the leaves are gone and the nights are 30 degrees. I am already gearing up for Halloween- I purchased my replica of the t-shirt that Axl Rose wore when he played Wembley from Ebay. I can't fucking wait... it's going to be great. I was supposed to be starting my Halloween diet in preparation for wearing nothing more than a pair of white, boxer-briefs and t-shirt, but a little trip upstate this weekend sabotaged my efforts. Oh well, It's a new dawn, it's a new day, and I'm feeling goooooooddddd..... lol. Not really, I feel emo as fuck today.
My job search is futile. I'm starting to think my best bet would be to make my way to the local witch craft-voodoo store and purchase some black magic candles and a book of incantations. Perhaps I would have better luck securing a job if I sold my soul to the Devil....
Will I ever be able to buy myself anything nice ever again? My poor Jeffrey Campbells have seen better days.... and I need a new winter coat. Oh, and a new Fall wardrobe. Sigh. I suppose I'll keep dreaming.
The only good thing about my job (apart from all of the great people I work with- and no, that is NOT sarcasm, I really do love the people I work with), was the fact that my schedule was fairly consistent from week to week and also conducive to my boyfriend's work schedule. Now that my schedule has been completely changed, I really have more motivation to find another job. Seriously though- I haven't worked an opening shift since the beginning of January. I'm so used to working 1-10pm or 3pm-12am (during floor updates) that my sleeping habits consist of staying up until 3am and sleeping in until 11am. I am being forced to open and work mid-day shifts now, which means waking up at 6am to be there by 8am. Good luck with that- I'm quite positive no one is going to want to work with me since I'll be half-asleep and a cunty bitch at that hour. Maybe I just won't go to sleep at all and I will stay up all night... that actually seems like the best option. I should probably work on procuring an adderall prescription to help fuel me.
Seriously though- my boyfriend works all weekend... basically 48 hours straight. The only day we generally have off together is Sunday. The time we spend during the work week is usually when we are both out of work between like 11pm or 12am for a few hours before passing out. If I have to start regularly waking up at 6am, I will never see my boyfriend. I already hate my job, so having my relationship go to shit as a result of my job is not even an option for me. I might just have to run away with a Colombian drug lord.. I don't know. In a moment of pure, unadulterated insanity and frustration yesterday afternoon, I briefly considered donating my eggs. Well, I ruled out egg donation today after I read that one woman who donated her eggs gained 17 lbs in three days as a result of ovarian hyperstimulation. Ummm... If I gained 17 lbs in three days, I'm pretty sure I'd jump from the balcony. If I gained 5 lbs in three days I'd probably freak out. Jk. But seriously... what the fuck?! Plus I read that some other woman's artery burst during the egg harvesting procedure and she died. Yikes. Plus, thinking about it, I don't want some bastard children of mine running amok in this world. I don't really think the world needs any Kelsey offspring. One of me is quite enough ;) I also ruled out prostitution and stripping after considering STDs, losing my boyfriend, and having my friends and family disown me. Sigh...
I don't know. I'm at the end of my rope here. I'm going to look into copyrighting my book today and then I guess I will spend the rest of my day applying to more jobs. The cycle is truly endless. Maybe I should start going to church and praying as my grandma suggested ;)
I spent last Sunday upstate with my boyfriend- it was a great micro-escape from the city. I think I need a permanent vacation though. I'm a different person when I don't have to go into the job I hate. It's like Jekyll and Hyde. I am so much more relaxed, sweet to those around me, happy, smiley, motivated, and fun.
Having spent my entire childhood and young adult like growing up in Upstate NY, I am no stranger to the beauty of small town living and communities. However, I have a new appreciation for it now that I live in a rat-infested, garbage/piss scented city filled with insane homeless vagrants and the scum of the earth. This past Sunday we spent in Narrowsburg was so relaxing. The woman we airbnb-ed the house from was great. The little cabin we rented was fucking awesome- it was in the middle of nowhere, and it was beautiful. I didn't even give a shit that the two local restaurants were closed by the time we decided to get dinner at 7pm. We drove to another small town, Callicoon, and had an awesome dinner at this restaurant called Peppinos. Seriously though- you don't appreciate the upstate price of dining out until you've spent way too many nights dropping $16 for one cocktail and $30 for an entree in the city.
$12 for this chicken parm... salad included. God Bless Upstate. Upstate lover 4Lyfe.
The cabin had a claw-foot bathtub. I was in heaven. If I owned a claw foot tub, I'd never come out. I'd have coffee in there, champagne in there, and sleep in there too.
This was the view outside of the cabin. You never quite appreciate the nature you grew up in until it is no longer part of your daily life. There is nothing like breathing in fresh air and seeing wild flowers and open fields after months of breathing in the scent of hobo excrement on the subways and the rotting heaps of garbage lining the streets on a hot day... I only hope that some day I can afford a place in the country where I can go whenever I need a break.
Fuzzy bumble bee... it's the simple things people.
Sadly for us, I had work at 1pm Monday, so we were forced to leave the next morning. Nothing beats diner prices upstate. Seriously though. I love walking in and seeing all of the older, local regulars having coffee and chatting with each other, and the waitress knows them all by name. It reminds me of the S&S cafe in Bainbridge. I love that sense of community you have in a small town. Plus you really can't beat a lumberjack sized breakfast for only $6.75.
The stretch of highway 97 along the Delaware River Valley was like a scene straight out of a movie. It was so scenic we had to stop for some photos. I want to go back for another couple solid weeks of no cell service, campfires at night, and $7 chicken tender baskets for breakfast (yep, that's right.. chicken tenders and fries for breakfast).
I am so desperate for another job I have even been looking at serving jobs. I know I said when I quit Highline I would never serve again, since it is such a degrading job at times, but at this rate, I'd probably be making better money and have better hours than I have now. I just can't leave the benefits and comp days I have at my current position. Why doesn't anyone prepare you for this when you're young? If I ever have kids (which I don't think I will ;p ), I will make sure to tell them that life isn't about how hard you work or what a good person you are and sugar-coat shit by telling them they 'can be whatever they want to be as long as they work hard.' I'll tell them it's who you know, who your parents are, what connections you have, how hot you are and which private school you get your degree from. God I'm so cynical today. I guess I should just have some more coffee, keep listening to this soothing French music on Pandora, and apply to about 50 more jobs in the hopes that I hear back from at least one. Imagine what will become of this blog when I actually find a job someday???? I'll have no more material to even write about! LOL. Unfortunately, I have no slutty selfies to share today either. I'm sure I'll be posting some when I get my sick "kill your idols" Guns n' Roses tee in the mail... so stay tuned. I know my slutty selfies make this piece of shit blog everything it is. jk. hahahahaha. ugh. I'm insane.
