I'm sitting here alone on the last night of vacation- my entire family, including my younger brother, are completely passed out... it is 10:30pm and it is Saturday. What the FUCK....
How is it that my twenty-two year old brother is so tired, that he would rather pass out at 10pm on a Saturday night than go grab a drink down town or at the hotel bar??? I know he parties on any other given Saturday night. This is so sad. I did just as much physical activity as him today- kayaking, biking, etc. Jesus, I am going to have to make up for lost time when I get back to the city tomorrow... I need a bottle of rose to my face right now.
I can't even sleep right now. I have terrible anxiety and anger issues at the moment. I'm not sure why I feel so anxious and angry since I've been sitting in solitary confinement in Booth Bay Harbor, ME for the past four days. One would think that spending some days away from the stresses and daily grind of city living would be a relaxing break for a person, and calm them down internally. Oh no... not me. I'm feeling like a wild beast inside, just looking for a target to lash out at with all of my pent up anger and aggression and frustration right now. Literally all I have done is bike, kayak in the ocean, explore the little town, and eat massive quantities of lobster and chowder. I am basically morbidly obese at this point and might have to subsist on water, coffee, and wine for the next few weeks to get back to normal.
The food here was great, and it was great spending time with my family and enjoying some fresh air and nature, however, I wish my brother wasn't sleeping right now, because I am not at all tired and wish I had someone to hang out with as opposed to sitting here and writing this piece of shit blog.
Drive to Linekin Point... This is the kind of place I would hole up if I were writing a novel. I would write all day and then entertain friends at night, and then gaze at the ocean, sipping wine as the sun went down each night with my lover. What a romantic thought.... ;)
The bikes I used each day. One speed and no hand-brakes, only the good ol' backwards-pedal brake. My thighs look like the goddamn hulk right now, and my shoulders look like a frickin' linebackers from all of the paddling I did in the kayak.
Sunset from the Lobster Dock.... YUM.
I had fully planned on devoting some of my vacation to finding/applying to another job, seeing as how everyone I actually liked working with is momentarily leaving my current company to work elsewhere. Unfortunately for me, the service here at the resort has been pretty shotty, not to mention who-the-fuck actually wants to spend their vacation applying to jobs. So here I am- alone in the dark on my busted up laptop writing a blog that no one will ever read- I'm just a complete lost cause tonight. And very dramatic (in case you couldn't already tell).
I am so bored. I can't be alone and unstimulated like this- this is when my mind starts to go crazy. I'm going into some dark waters mentally right now. This is not how I want to spend my last night here in Maine.
An assortment of buoys hanging on the pool house... how festive. I always start to feel very nautical when I start seeing buoys and have to fight the desire to buy them since I know I have no where to display them in my apartment. Maybe someday I'll have a real house....
I partially want to go back to the city just because there is nothing to do here and I have no friends here, but at the same time I never want to leave here because there is nothing to do here and I have no obligations while I'm here. The way of life is just so relaxed and chill here... the people are so friendly and down-to-earth and generally good people. Oh God... please someone save me. I can't go back to the stench of the garbage heaps lining the streets and the hot hell that is the subway in NYC. I can't go back to the daily grind of the commute and the construction on the subway tunnels that makes my daily ride home take forever. I can't take spending all of my money on rent and student loans and groceries and subway fare. I can't take having to q-tip swab my nose every night to get rid of the black, city boogers that are the direct result of breathing in the dirty, smelly, city air. I can't fucking take the pretentious, collagen injected, fake lipped, fake titted, fake haired bitches inhabiting the NYC nightlife circuit. I can't take the anorexic, bottle blonde upper east side women with the doctor-bought DSLs (<---dick sucking lips: You know- trout pout. The kind of lips that look like two silicon worms) and the Chanel bags and the Laboutins. Sometimes it's so nice to be surrounded by women and men wearing sneakers and boat shoes, with hair pulled back into pony tails and no makeup, who don't care if they eat lobster rolls and who's form of working out doesn't involved 2 hours at Equinox with a personal trainer, but instead biking around town. Sometimes it's nice to walk around L.L. Bean instead of walking around Soho. I need to get out of the city I think....
I need a vacation that lasts forever.
Do you hear that- hot, old rich men looking for a girlfriend? COME TAKE ME!!!!!!
Just when I got excited about my new writing gig, Untitled went and completely altered my first article. They said that they felt my original piece was 'promoting drug use.' Um, excuse me, but I wrote about EDM concerts/festivals... the drugs sort of go hand in hand with that scene. I didn't mind that they edited the piece, however, the last sentence they changed completely. I forget how my original piece ended, but they inserted some lame-ass sentence like, 'have fun but leave the drugs out,' and then they slapped my name on it. Excuse me, but that is NOT something that I would ever write. I look like a goddamn pussy now.
My next article is going to be focused on airbnb.com though, so hopefully that should be playing it safe enough to appease them. Jesus. I thought I was writing for a cool publication that caters to a younger, more artistic, avant-garde crowd and the next thing I know I am being made to look like some sort of boring-ass, vanilla preppy asshole.
Can you tell I am feeling savage tonight? ;) Maybe it's time to run away to Colombia. Do you hear that anyone reading who might possibly know a rich, drug lord looking for a nice girlfriend???? Hook me up and save me from my life right now. I need a permanent vacation somewhere scenic where all I do is cook elaborate meals, entertain guests and friends, and sip champagne while wearing heals. I would also plan the gardens, take long bike rides to the local farmers market and fish market, and write another book. I guess I will keep dreaming....
This was the view from the front of the cabin!!!! How can I make this a permanent staple in my life... ??? Hmm.....
And a slutty selfie I took before leaving. You know how I do.
