I spent a short and sweet Christmas Upstate with my family and boyfriend, I spent New Year's Eve working and getting beyond shit-faced, and am now back on the staight and narrow (or as straight and narrow as an animal such as myself can be ;) ). I am currently on my lunch break, and as per usual, I am contemplating never returning to that wretched store and just going home and never looking back. The way that place makes me feel is beyond description. I am being creatively stifled and stripped of my identity. I almost miss serving, because the hours were way more conducive to pursuing creative interests on the side, and I had WAY more free time during the week to do leisurely activities and to pursue creative endeavors...even though I wondered how I would pay my rent every month and was in a constant state of fear and desperation. That being said, my number one goal this year is to find a creative job, with benefits, and good hours. If I can do that, all aspects of life will automatically improve. I will be happier, less tempermental and anxious all the time, and a better person to everyone in my life. My other goal is finally finishing my book- I am so close to being done now, that it is stupid for me not to take the time to buckle down, wrap it up, and possibly start researching the publishing process. I also want to take more time off to enjoy life- I want to go on more mini-vacations and try to stop stressing out about all of the things in life that are beyond my control. Additionally, I want to lose 10 lbs (hahaha). Here is a brief synopsis of all of my New Year goals:
1. Find a creative job with benefits and 'decent hours' (creative= preferably writing or costume work, decent hours= not before the hour of 10am, or after the hour of 11pm).
2. Be more positive and less temperamental (aka... stop being so crazy and derailing multiple times a month)
3. FINISH MY GODDAMN BOOK!!!!!!!
4. NEVER drink on an empty stomach again, never drink while angry or depressed, and never drink while unattended (I require constant supervision if I plan on consuming more than three alcoholic beverages or bad things start to happen... )
5. Lose 10 lbs.
6. Stop having bi-weekly derailments and cry way less (I think the key to this is finding a job that doesn't make me want to cry before I go into work, also eating more nutritional foods would probably help with my mental stability).
7. Don't stress over things I cannot control (So what if someone doesn't text me back in a timely fashion? So what if I have to stay an hour and a half later than I'm supposed to at work? So what if I eat too much Nutella and break out? I need to stop using so much of my energy to focus on things I can't remedy myself...)
8. Go on a Vacation/multiple mini-vacations (taking a break from life and work will definitely help me put things into perspective and keep me de-stressed)
9. Explore new things (S&M, Bondage... JK! :D hahahahaha..... I should explore more options in every given situation and life scenario, and maybe explore some new places, restaurants, foods, activities, etc.).
10. Be more understanding and DON'T EVER SMOKE ANOTHER CIGARETTE WHILE INTOXICATED EVER F*CKING AGAIN!!!!!! (before jumping to conclusions or making rash judgments, I should try to be more understanding of circumstances... oh, and I am not allowed to ever indulge in another cigarette while drunk again, because I wake up the next day sounding like Lindsay Lohan after she smokes a pack of Marlboro reds, drinks a bottle of vodka, and S*cks multiple d*cks).
