I think now that the weather has actually started to feel like "real" winter weather, as opposed to the unseasonably warm temperatures we had earlier in the month, I have developed a case of Seasonal Affective Disorder. I wake up in the morning and the sun is shining, but then it always seems to fade into grey skies by the afternoon. It's too cold for me to go out for a walk (I really regret giving my down coat to the stray cats I had in my yard a year ago), and so I am cooped up in my apartment struggling to stay away from the cookies I foolishly decided to make (out of lack of anything better to do than bake). Not only am I fighting the urge to binge eat carbs all day, but my night job as a server has completely thrown off my sleeping schedule. I get home around midnight, and I'm so wired from the loud music and running around that I don't feel tired until around 2 or 3am. Naturally, I'm dog-tired when my alarm goes off at 8:30am (which would be the ideal time to wake up, had I gone to bed at a more reasonable hour), so I hit 'snooze' about 10 times. The next thing I know, it's 9:45am, and I'm forcing myself out of bed because I hate wasting the day, even though I could still sleep another hour. Sigh. Once I have another job, I'm really going to have to retrain myself to wake up like a normal person, at a normal hour. On top of that, my coffee maker shit the bed. My skin has really seemed to be healthier since my coffee intake went down to zero cups per day, however, mentally, I'm really struggling. Coffee is my favorite, non-alcoholic beverage. I know that caffeine is terrible for a person's skin, and the amount of cream and sugar I dump into my coffee is also pretty bad for my health (sugar is terrible for my skin), however, I crave that coffee in the morning. Usually, coffee is my one incentive to get out of bed, so now that I don't have that... well, getting out of bed seems pointless (other than my list of 1,000 things to do each day). My dad bought me a new coffee maker, but it is currently upstate, and I have no idea when I will be upstate again.
I never really liked Spring as a season, but I have been craving a taste of Spring this past week. My favorite season is definitely fall. However, I have been craving warmer weather in the midst of this brutal cold. If it snowed, I wouldn't mind the cold as much... it's the combination of ugly, grey, shitty city buildings and brown hues on top of the bitter cold that make this month so depressing. I am very sad I wasn't upstate long enough over Christmas for the massive snowfall we had. I think a blanket of white over tree tops and sidewalks really makes the world a little bit more beautiful in the bleakness of January. Today I have been dreaming of warmer days though, and sunshine, and lilac trees.
I have had a multitude of interviews this week, one of which was in Greenwich, CT. It's the first time I have ever been to Greenwich, and I must say, it's a lovely little town. I wouldn't mind working there at all, especially since the store has ideal hours and no late-nights would be involved, however, it's one hell of a commute. From Williamsburg to Grand Central was a 25 min. subway commute, and then the train out of Grand to Greenwich was another 50 or so minutes. I don't know if I am up for an hour and a half commute two times a day. That tacks on an extra three hours to my work day... but we will see. I called the hair-care company I interviewed with yesterday, since I hadn't heard back from them. They said they still had a couple more interviews and I should be hearing back from them within the next week (it's about fucking time... my interview was January 7th!). I wouldn't mind working for them though; I applied for a purchasing position so I would have a nice, Mon-Fri., 9-5 job... like a 'normal' person :D lol. Can you tell I'm desperate for some stability in my work life? Furthermore, the office space was super cozy and cute, and it's only a 12 minute subway ride away... perfect. I have another interview on Thursday at a vintage clothing store in Carroll Gardens, and I just got a call from an architectural interiors store as I typed this last paragraph. Let's hope I get some actual offers. ha.
In addition to my quest for a 'real' job, I am starting a short internship with one of my sister's friends who runs her own theatre company... I'm super stoked. I think in addition to doing clerical/office type tasks, she wants me to help out planning the gala they are throwing in March, so you can imagine how excited I am to be a part of that. I love parties and decorating!!!!!! :D :D :D (that's how I feel inside). I don't care if I don't get paid at all... I get to do something that I love and meet people... that's enough for me. lol. I am also currently doing Pinterest boards for Renegade Chicks, in addition to writing a weekly article, so be sure to check that out, if you love me ;). Here are some links:
http://renegadechicks.com/ (my pen name is Lily White... obviously)
http://pinterest.com/renegadechicks/
Despite my work-life looking up, my personal life has gone to shit recently. I just thought I'd throw that out there for any of you reading this and wondering what happened to my usually caustic voice. I don't want to seem like I am gloating or bragging, because I'm not- I'm just happy things are looking up as far as my prospective career goes. Don't people always say there are three pillars of happiness? Social/family life, relationship, and career, and it's hard to have all three where you want them? Well, for the longest time, my career pillar was in the gutter, and now that that seems to finally have taken a turn for the better, my relationship has really nose-dived. So any of you who need reassurance that I'm still my usual, caustic self, take reassurance in the fact that I am... just in a different way. I am currently working on an article about 'Co-dependence,'- I always joked about being codependent with my friends and stuff. You know when you're in college and you NEED your friend to go to the auto body repair shop with you, because you don't want to sit alone while your oil gets changed, or you HAVE to drag your friend to the grocery store with you, because you hate going there alone? I always thought that that's what codependence was. Or like, the girlfriend you have that thinks it's acceptable to drag her boyfriend to girl's night, because even though they see each other daily, she can't be without him for a few hours?... I always thought that was codependence. However, upon doing some reading, turns out it's a hell of a lot more serious, and a real mental health condition.
I'll leave you with a picture of myself, because (you know the drill....) I CAN! WTF is wrong with me? Maybe I suffer from co-dependency, I think I have the narcissistic aspect of it down pat... JK.
Before the experiment....
After the experiment...
Inspired by one of the uber-blond opening acts (some Russian pop star named 'Kerli'), we had when the Saturdays played at Highline a week ago, I wanted to know what I would look like with platinum hairs. Naturally I would never dye my reddish-locks for fear of ruining them forever, so to achieve this look, I used "White-out" temporary hair dye that I had from my Costume Makeup class, and then went over it with John Frieda temporary blonde root coverage shit. I don't make a good blonde, but I envy people that can pull off that baby-blonde hair. And yes, this is how I spent my saturday night.. I need a life. Or a job that can finance a 'life'...
