Today I missed the 'morning meeting' that apparently we were in fact supposed to have, because apparently the DM is still there. We (the management team) are supposed to have a morning meeting at 8:00 am every Tuesday, but I mean, in the five months that I've been employed by Chodes R' Us, I've only gone to like three morning meetings and only because the DM was going to be in attendance; normally the store manager says it's fine that we don't have one. We can discuss whatever unimportant business we would discuss this morning when we work together on Thursday and I'm pretty sure the world isn't going to end. But in complete honesty, it's my day off, so why am I going to drive to Binghamton for an hour-long meeting, when what I would be paid for that singular hour won't even cover the cost of my gas to drive there and back?
Hear that world?! This is my DAY OFF, I've just worked an illegal 14 hour work day, my pay is cut in half for every hour over 40 that I work, and they want me to drive 40 minutes to Binghamton for a one hour meeting, about unimportant shit that can be discussed later, for approximately $7.50. I don't fucking think so.
Don't even get me started on the image-branding of this company either. I might be the biggest fucking bitch in the world sometimes when I go out to the bars and see a fatty wearing a crop top that she shouldn't be wearing, but from the bottom of my heart, I mean it when I say that this company drives me insane- telling us to hire people on a basis of looks, and causing divisions and rifts between associates because some old, sloppy, unattractive corporate loser sits behind a desk (probably fapping to the half naked images he is sent of our employees) and decides that some of our employees are 'attractive' enough to make 'tracker' and others aren't attractive enough, for God only knows what reason. I talked to a girl who is hot by all standards, and she was upset she didn't make tracker because they told her that her Italian nose was 'too big.' Honestly? What are we doing to these young women and men we employ? Who is to say that some other girl is hotter than another when obviously they were both attractive enough to be employed in the first place and beauty really is in the eye of the beholder? And it's not only women who are hurt by this rejection of feeling that they aren't 'attractive' enough; I have seen disappointment in many a male employee's eyes because he thinks that his body isn't 'ripped' enough because someone make tracker over him. It's just so fucked up. I can't tell you how many times through out the years that I thought someone was attractive and my friends told me I was gross for thinking so, or they thought someone was attractive who I found positively hideous- you know why? Because aesthetic tastes very from person to person. It's so absurd it drives me insane. This is like a fucking Mel Gibson rant right now, and I apologize for that. It's just that as someone who spent the majority of my teenage years thinking that I wasn't "attractive enough," It really hurts me to be part of a brand that is solely about being 'attractive,' and makes impressionable young people feel like they aren't 'good enough.'
I can't continue to be part of a company that doesn't take important factors like having a good personality, creativity, or a fully functional brain into the consideration. This company is always stressing the idea of promotion or the idea of possibly being a store opener in a foreign country to its managers, but sometimes I wonder If I would even be 'attractive enough' to be considered for the position of a store opener over-seas. From ages 12 to roughly 21, I felt like I wasn't thin enough, I felt like I wasn't tall enough, my nose wasn't small enough, my face wasn't 'cute enough' for me to be considered attractive. Fuck that. I still have days where I feel like I could use many improvements, but for the most part I'm a lot happier with myself, and it's really hard to be happy with one's self when they are constantly fed images of photoshopped, surgically enhanced celebrities and models that we're told are the standard of 'beauty' and what men find 'desirable.' I'm so sick of opening a magazine where the model is photoshopped to the point of looking like a plasticized alien; I'm so sick of seeing celebrities on TV that claim they are naturally, just that beautiful. Ok, that's why I can google a picture of them from five years ago with noticeably thinner lips, a larger nose, and no cheekbones of which to speak. I think American women need to stop buying into this shit. When I pick up a fashion magazine these days, I hardly even notice the fashion because I'm too focused on some celebrities inflated duck lips or how damn thin they are. I am no longer the insecure 19 year old that I once was, but as a woman I am still receptive to media images telling me what I should look like. And I'm so over it.
Anyhow... changing the subject. I think I am going to be Jessica Rabbit for Halloween next year. lol. I should just be a housewife some day (albeit one who still does creative things and is financially independent from her her husband). I'd be the perfect housewife with my penchant for donning sexy clothes at all times of day and my cooking skills and ability to entertain. Maybe I will make bank off of my book if I could ever finish it and get it published and then I could be a housewife with my own money in the bank... what a lovely thought :) lol. Hey, a girl can dream right?
I will leave you with some pleasant pictures to warm your heart; I know they certainly warm mine, and that's a hard feat to complete. My animals can't wait for my niece to be born so maybe I will stop dressing them up and dress her up instead. lol
Ceely is so cuuuute in the morning when she snuggles on the chair; almost reminds me of a BSM...
Bijou loves the bow.
Abby, you would make a sexy housewife too.
LOL
