TomorrowWorld is now only 6 days away and I am sitting here more or less morbidly obese having been sabotaged by my boyfriend who thought it was a good idea to bring home the following items when I was craving chocolate one night: 1 gallon of Edy's chocolate icecream, 1 box of jumbo-sized nutty cones, 1 box of tri flavor popsicles, and 1 box of strawberry popsicles.
I know what you're thinking- most people should be able to exhibit some self control. But when you are me, you're an all or nothing kind of girl. I literally cannot keep certain things in the house because I won't stop until they're gone. I live my life in extremes. Not only am I addicted to nutty cones, but the fact that I woke up on my day off with a f*cked up neck/back meant that I was essentially immobile and housebound all day. I didn't leave my apartment once, and probably didn't burn more than 25 calories all day since I just sat on my couch, worked on my Tomorrow World costume, and shoved my face as I watched "Train Spotting" and other assorted shitty films. You know when you eat a ton of food (ex. Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.), and the next day you wake up absolutely ravenous having expanded your stomach the previous day? Yes... so that's how I woke up the following day- starving. And that is the story of how I haven't stopped shoving my face since Tuesday morning (... so much for looking thin in all of these slutty costumes I anticipated on wearing) :D Also, when I say that my neck/back was jacked up, I don't think you quite understand what exactly I was feeling, so let me elaborate:
Most people experience occasional neck pains due to a night of sleeping in a strange position etc.- you know what I'm talking about- when you wake up the next day and can't turn your head to the left because your neck is so stiff that it hurts. Imagine that feeling, but radiating from the middle of your back, all the way up through your shoulders and neck, and even extending down your left arm. Yep. I woke up knowing my neck was stiff, but it wasn't until I tried to reach over the bed to grab my phone from the floor that I realized just how messed up I was. I started crying from the pain. If you know me, you know that I usually only cry from emotional pain, so if the physical pain was enough to send me to tears, you know that it must have been bad. I couldn't bend over to put on underwear, I couldn't lift my head fully up so my chin was parallel with the floor and I was looking straight ahead, I couldn't move my head back or to the side, and I also couldn't twist my spine. I called my mom in a panic because I thought I might be paralyzed. She then asked if I felt feverish, which I did, and then told me maybe I should go to the doctor. I did the next best thing: Web MD. Sure enough, all symptoms pointed to a case of viral, spinal menengitis. Yes, for the first three or four hours of my day off I thought I might have viral menengitis and kept checking my skin for rashes and worrying a headache would follow suit.
Even as I sit here typing this piece of shit blog three days after the fact, my neck is still sore. Luckily my back and arm are better. Well... mostly better, I now have another ailment: the first sunburn I've had in three years... that I got on the only day of this entire summer I went to the beach- and I applied SPF 50 :D :D :D . I can't believe it. I literally haven't been to the beach ALL summer. It is now September 18th, and I diligently applied SPF 50 and the one spot I accidentally missed on my back got burnt to a crisp- lobster red. It's so sad. I stopped using self tanner about two weeks ago so I have returned to my natural shade of translucent, accented with random bruises. God I am so hot.
I'd love very much to post a picture of this catastrophe so you could all see how horrid the contrast between my albino skin is and the flaming red patch on my back is, but unfortunately, my already shitty iphone 4 has officially shit the bed. Yaayyyyyyy!!!!!!!! I love it ! :D :D :D I'm so so lucky.
ADDENDUM: ( As of 9/19 I am the proud owner of a new phone... so here is a pic )
Awesommmmeeee... am I right? Let's all have a good chuckle together :p YUMMMMMM.
If you know me, you know I am prone to extreme anxiety. If you know me well enough, you know my phone is a prime source of said anxiety... whether it is waiting to hear back from someone, not hearing back from someone, or, God forbid, my phone dies or malfunctions. Well, this time it is the latter. Recall if you will the last time my phone shit the bed: April, 2014- I was home for a few days and out with my friend when my phone literally just died. I couldn't be without a phone, so I abandoned my friend's house at 2am after a night of drinking, called my father to come pick me up, and then proceeded to get into a blow out argument with my mother after I arrived home at 2:30am and she demanded to know why I had to wake my father up to come get me and I told her that it was because my phone died and I was going absolutely ballistic demanding to use hers and panicking. I am ashamed of my actions even to this day. However, I am even now fighting to keep my cool as my phone sits next to me unable to send or receive texts. I can't even take a photo because it keeps logging me out of apps. The phone is done. I am going to Verizon first thing tomorrow morning to get it fixed or get a new phone, but the last two days of not texting have been torturous for me. Not because I'm addicted to texting, but because it's so frustrating that people have been sending texts and my phone hasn't been receiving them, therefore they think I'm being rude or ignoring them when I don't respond. It's infuriating.
If you're wondering what triggered this tirade and sent me into this spiral, I can pinpoint the exact catalyst. My bad luck streak started three weeks ago. I had an interview with a company that shall remain nameless (unless you look at the link below ;) ) for an Editor in Chief position. Please now take a moment to read the Glassdoor reviews of this company (you'll be both humoring me, and yourself): The Esteemed Company :)
Ok, now that you have read that, tell me why a talented, hard working, person such as myself would still want to work there? Oh yeah, because it's a paid writing job, in a field that I am enthusiastic about, and it's not my current job that makes me suicidal on the daily. Anyhow, the person who interviewed me loved me, and told me as we wrapped up the first interview to email them my schedule because they wanted to set up a second interview. Extremely exciting! I wanted the job so so so badly. As soon as I got back to my apartment, I emailed them my schedule so we could set a date for the second interview. They asked for some writing samples, which I also speedily emailed them. They responded that the samples were "great!," and told me they would email me early the next week with a date for the second interview. Needless to say, two weeks and several emails on MY behalf later (along the lines of "Hey, I just wanted to keep you posted about my availability for that second interview..." etc. etc.), with no response. I finally heard back two weeks after the first interview, not with a date for the second interview but with this response "we filled the editor in chief position, but would you be interested in a part-time SEO nightlife writer position?". I was so offended and angry that I got the run-around for two weeks only to get this response that I didn't even respond. After coming so close to getting a job so many times and applying and interviewing non stop all summer, it was this job rejection that sent me into a two-week depression where I didn't apply for any jobs at all and ate my feelings. Now I am not only still working at my terrible job, but I have lost all definition in my stomach and my thighs filled out to the point where putting on skinny jeans hurt.
But hey, life could always be worse- at least I'm not my friend who got financially screwed and is momentarily flopping around naked on his carpet having consumed an entire three liter jug of carlo Rossi :)
MORE ADDENDUM PHOTOS... BECAUSE I GOT A NEW PHONE TODAY :D
The wings I made and definitely won't be wearing at Tomorrow World... because, let's be honest...
The floral/butterfly crown I made and also won't be wearing... because, again, let's just be honest... you know I'm gonna be wearing all black. Flower child is not my vibe.
And the Jewelry I am making, which I actually will be wearing because i think it's cool as fuck.
More pics to follow..... :)
Oh, and a brief update since I haven't wrote in a month: The AC/DC concert was awesome... we were right in the front and I'm pretty sure I caught the sloppy spit flying out of Angus's mouth as he jumped around on stage with his guitar. As for the photoshoot I did with my boyfriend, it confirmed what I already know about myself: I am awkward as fuck. :D Therefore, I look pretty fucking hideous in about 99.9% of the photos that were shot that day... as I knew I would. I think next time I have pictures done, I am going to act natural (or the way I would act when someone takes my photo during a party, in my natural habitat)... I will go into the shoot having consumed several gin tonics and some drugs to loosen up and look better in the photos.
