The week prior to Thanksgiving, I applied for approximately 45+ job openings, most of which I am over-qualified for. I have yet to hear back about a single one of them- ten days after the fact. I even signed up for four various recruiting agencies (agencies that find temp-work etc. and charge the company who hires you a small fee for finding you); I have not heard back from a single one of those either. What gives? A simple, generic email along the lines of 'We're sorry but the position has been filled/we found a more qualified applicant/you suck" would be nicer than not hearing back at all. It's becoming so very frustrating. I mean, what am I supposed to do? Should I pretend I never went to college and graduated or ignore the fact that I've held down a handful of reasonable jobs within the past few years and go apply at McDonalds? (no offense to anyone who might work at McDonald's- it's just that that was my last resort even when I was in high school and looking for work). Should I go scrub the toilets of rich ladies and degrade myself? I certainly can't go back to work for Mollister/A&F Co. after resigning for all of the right reasons. I honestly feel like with all of the various applications I submit on a daily basis I am beginning to exhaust my options. I've applied for a variety of basic sales associate jobs, office assistant jobs, basically anything at this point, that would provide me with a bit of income and occupy my time. I used to love having time home alone and to myself to relax or work on my book or cook something scrumptious, but JC- being alone all the time is really starting to blow. I racked up 70% of the family plan's usage for phone minutes and about 7,000 texts last month just because aside from sitting here at my computer applying for jobs, I have nothing else to do but chat with friends/harass my brother etc. It's really becoming depressing... it reminds of my days at FIT when my first roommate moved out and I was all alone for almost an entire semester... or my other roommate who was constantly going home to bang her boyfriend every weekend leaving me all alone. Shit's just sad. lmao.
I decided to at least do something good for the world while I am unemployed; so I signed up to foster a kitten. I didn't want to adopt a cat, because I have Bijou and I don't want him to think that his mom left him and took up with another cat in the city. LMAO. However, I did some research and found several legitimate organizations looking for individuals who will temporarily serve as a foster parent for a kitten for a time frame of around 2-3 months. A lot of animal shelters don't have enough room or help to give the space, time, or necessary attention to the kittens/puppies that they have, so they are constantly looking for volunteers to bring these animals into their homes until they are old enough to be adopted out to a permanent home. This sounds perfect because I want to help, but I cannot commit to actually adopting and owning an animal for the long haul right now. I also looked into volunteering at hospitals and nursing homes yesterday and I think that until I have a job, I would like to start spending a few hours a week reading to children or helping out at a hospital/nursing home. Helping others has always made me feel good, and I certainly don't do it as often as I should anymore.
I had a lovely Thanksgiving Holiday at home and a lovely three days with my boyfriend upon returning to the city. Now it's back to the grind of job searching- yet again. I have started my Christmas shopping, so at least that is something to occupy my time. Whilst racking my brain for the perfect gifts to give to my loved ones, I started thinking about my own Christmas lists and how it went from my annual fantasy lists of yore, to this year's ever-so-boring list. For Example:
Obviously those were just fantasy lists and I would always hang a more reasonable one on the fridge at home asking for stuff like Sephora Gift cards or a pair of riding boots. This year however, I suppose I am a 'real' adult, because my list is boring as well as utterly depressing:
Christmas List 2012
1. The Clarisonic
2. A crock pot
3. A set of Mixing bowls
4. A hand held vacuum
5. Socks
6. Ear Muffs
7. A case of coffee
WHO AM I?! Honestly... If this is what being an independent and responsible adult consists of at the tender age of 24... then what the fuck is in store for me when I'm in my forties?! This list makes me feel like a 1950s housewife. Yes, I like to cook, and yes, I keep a tidy apartment... but JC... a fucking Vacuum cleaner?! A fucking Crock Pot?! Someone might need to stage an intervention, I'm starting to not recognize myself anymore. I mean, seriously, the highlight of this list is a Clarisonic- and that's only because my dermatologist recommended it for my skin issues. So sad. I never realized how much money a person spends on necessities like coffee and toilet paper... I keep thinking about how nice it was to not have to buy this stuff for myself when I lived at home. No wonder I never thought twice about treating myself to something nice on Urbanoutfitters.com or Nastygal.com. Another depressing thing about being jobless, is finding things to look forward to and to keep you motivated. My boyfriend bought tickets to a Bloc Party concert happening right after Christmas to make up for the concert I didn't attend with him in summer so that is something to look forward to. Sigh. I need things to look forward to these days. It's really hard when every day is a day off. I mean, when you're working 45 hours a week, you look forward to your hard-earned days off, even if you have nothing at all planned, you look forward to not waking up at the ass crack of dawn or slaving away for a 9 hour shift. But now? It's difficult, it really is. I look forward to weekends upstate just to break up the monotony of this lonely apartment. I look forward to Wednesday nights because thats when I go to my sister's to watch American Horror Story. I look forwards to seeing my cat... what is wrong with this picture? I think I might just go for a 5 mile walk now because I have nothing better to do.
