Me: Frumpy Dumpster l'extrodanaire!
I figured I would write a brief guide for any other frumpy dumpsters out there who may have recently quit their jobs and now find themselves with some spare time on their hands, or any frumpsters who have recently found themselves living alone.
Benefits to Finally Living Away from the Family
Now that I am finally out of the house I grew up in (after an extended grace period of apres-graduation living), my family is showing me the type of love I knew I deserved all along and never got. Instead of calling to bitch at me about the mess I left in the kitchen, or that empty box of orange juice I stuck back in the fridge, my parents call to see how I am doing and check in on almost a daily basis. My dad told me he loved me for the first time in like, 5 years the other day. The last time he told me he loved me, I was on Christmas break from FIT and having a mental breakdown and threatening suicide (don't worry, I never meant it... I was just emotionally distraught and needed people to know how shitty I felt inside... it was my final and most extreme tactic to throw out such an offensive threat). It was nice to hear him say those words, even though I know he loves me regardless of whether or not he tells me. My mom (who has been my foe since the age of eleven, and to whom I am unjustifiably mean at times), has started calling me "hunny" when she says 'good bye' on the phone. I find it humorous that the woman who once told me I don't make friends because I'm 'too bitchy,' is now calling me by the terms of endearment she used when I was five. Just tonight, I was talking with my mom and she told me that I should treat myself to some new clothes. I'm glad she thinks that even though I am currently unemployed, I am worthy of dropping some of my hard earned savings on to buy clothes. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and I may just take her advice.
Filling One's Time
Since I am currently unemployed, and I can only spend so much of my time job searching and sending out resumes, I find myself with a large chunk of free time on my hands. I spent pretty much all of last week entertaining various friends who came to visit. However, this week I have had no real plans to go out and socialize. I have started to remind myself of Hugh Grant's character in "About a Boy," when he talks about filling up his days in chunks of thirty minute intervals. I never really have been one to sleep in, but I'm capitalizing on the fact that for the first time in...oh, almost my whole life, I can have a solid eight-hour slumber on a nightly basis. I spent the last few months of my life either getting home from work at 11:30pm, or waking up at 4am to be there at 6am. I think I deserve some fucking sleep, no? I've been setting my alarm for 8:00 am, but hitting snooze and waking up around 9 instead. I then have two or three leisurely cups of coffee while checking emails and sitting at the computer. Around 10, I shower and get myself ready for the day. Usually, a decent chunk of time is spent taking a walk with my sister and niece or running errands. It's amazing, and you may not believe me, but all of the last two weeks were spent getting my apartment put together. It's amazing how much time a trip to Ikea can take, or how much time one can spend online comparing table cloths and shopping around for the perfect one. I probably spent 4 total hours last week shopping around for the perfect floor-mirror. And building all the new furniture that I've ordered... oh my god! It took almost 6 total hours to assemble a dresser and 250 lb. wardrobe from Ikea all by myself! I have also been working on my book. It's the little things that one wouldn't normally have the luxury of taking the time to do, that I am now able to enjoy. For example, two days ago, I spent a total of three hours from start to finish, making vegetarian meat(less) balls. They were fucking delicious and the recipe was from my own head. I should just start cooking painstakingly slow foods all the time.
The 'Living Alone' Diet
Sure I have all the time in the world to cook things like butternut squash soup and vegetarian meat(less) balls now, but it's not like I have a family coming home to serve them to on a nightly basis. I haven't even made a conscious effort to stop eating meat (even though it's been something I have been wanting to do for a while), but in the last three weeks, I haven't eat meat more than once. I did have sushi and squid, so while my diet isn't vegetarian, it is pescatarian. That may explain the huge, blue bruise that mysteriously appeared on my thigh, as well as the reason why I have been freezing for the past few days... maybe tomorrow I should invest in some iron pills or a good multi-vitamin. Perhaps it is time for some red meat... sadly, my dad isn't around to buy, prepare, and grill steaks for me. Not that I couldn't do it myself, it's just that I don't want to. Today for lunch I had frozen yogurt from Sixteen Handles. I could probably eat that twice daily, every day, and never grow tired of it. I justify it by the fact it has protein and calcium... and it's fucking delicious.
Things to Capitalize on While Living Alone and Being Jobless
*Walking around in undies (as long as the blinds are closed)
*Fro Yo for Lunch, or maybe even dinner...
*Peeing with the door open
*playing freaky deaky music (a la 'the Knife') without anyone passing judgement
*Decorating your place to your specifications and not having to compromise because of another person's tastes
*Watching Tim Burton movies non stop (mostly because you don't have cable)
*doing a full face of costume make up during the day, just to see what you would look like as a cartoon
*Sleeping in past the hour where most people crawl out of bed to go to work
*Taking leisurely walks during the day... when the sun is actually out, and the sky is blue
(you don't know what torture is until you've spent the last year of your life working in a dark, dungeon like store where the lights are so dim you may one day go blind, and the music so loud, you're already probably on the way to going deaf)
*The ability to online shop to find that perfect table cloth or coat stand
*Discovering exciting new things- like the website where I can have a photograph printed on a canvas to hang as giant artwork (hello Christmas gifts!)
*Doing the things you never had time to do when you were working 10 hour days, 6 days a week: Like finishing that book, or making a new painting... all the things you forgot you even liked to do because you were too tired.
*Seeing your precious, baby niece be cute
*Learning to appreciate your parents, now that you don't have to live with them.
When You're Lonely at Night
When you have watched all of the Tim Burton you can stomach, or your eyes hurt from staring at monster.com, FB, and urbanoutfitters.com, you may find yourself befuddled as to how to spend your late evening hours. You could walk off that fro yo you ate, because the neighborhood is always interesting and well lit (unlike that scary corner on your hill upstate). You could read a book (I need some new reading material), or work on that book you're writing (I am at a depressing part in my time line and I get to sad to write at night), or you could watch the videos you have on your phone of the cat that you had to leave at home and miss beyond belief. I am not ashamed to admit that before I doze off at night, I like to watch videos of bijou being cute on my phone. hahaha. I'm pathetic. You could also call your brother and harass him, because even he misses you now that you're out of the house.
