FUCK! Yes, that's how I feel right now. Why the FUCK isn't there already an oral contraceptive, FDA approved birth control for men in the US right now? What fucking year is it? 2011. When did women's oral contraceptive pills come into play? THE FUCKING 1960s. I would think that men were just as entitled and empowered to take an active approach in preventing unwanted pregnancy as women. I mean, yes, there are condoms, but aren't men the ones generally opposed to using them?! Why isn't there a pill that men take daily, or an injection they get once, monthly that would make their sperm inactive or non existent? It just doesn't make any sense. For example: Let's say that a monogamous male and female (heterosexual couple) agree to the fact their contraceptive device will depend on the female partner taking her pill every day. This leaves all fertility control in the hands of the female. I'm thinking most women aren't like this, but there are definitely some crazy bitches out there; so let's now say, the female decides to stop taking her daily bc (she wants to get knocked up on the sly) or 'oopsies!' misses a few days, or takes an antibiotic that fucks with her contraceptive pill. Shouldn't men be able to take their own precautionary measures when they're not yet ready to be fathers? Furthermore, unlike women who have a monthly period and have to deal with all sorts of hormonal shit, a guy on birth control would never have to worry about his monthly menstruation cycle getting fucked up.
You may be wondering why I just went on this rant; well, let's examine my history. I didn't even get my period until damn near 14, until the age of 22 when I started taking b.c., my cycle was completely regular, like fucking clock work. My first b.c. pill, ortho tricyclin, made me feel like a goddamn monster. Not only did the extra hormones running through my body cause me to feel nausea every morning after taking this pill, but my tits went from an A to a C cup.... totally not cool when you're 5'3" and don't have the height or build to pull that size rack off (props to people who are cool with their huge boobs, I'm just not). I felt like fucking Pamela Anderson/Dolly Parton on a daily basis. Not only were my boobs huge, but they hurt every single day. In addition, I gained about 5 lbs and felt like a bloated whale. After suffering a huge blow to my self-esteem, I took action after 4 months on this pill and demanded a lower hormone dosage. I was put on low-estron 24. This pill gave me completely irregular periods; like some months I wouldn't get one. I know a lot of you are probably thinking how great that is, but I like to use my monthly period as b.c. check; it let's me know everything is working and I am baby-free. After complaining to the nurse about this, she discussed with the dr. and they decided to have me try a new, low hormone pill called Natazia. They thought it would regulate me, but now I get my P (period) fucking two times a month... NOT COOL! I have currently been on this pill 2 months now, and having seen no changes or regulation in my cycle called the Dr.'s office today to see about getting a new pill. They said they could put me back on the Ortho tricyclin.... Hello big tits, nice to see you again!
NO FUCKING THANK YOU!
I absolutely refuse to deal with my boobs growing big again. I'm lucky I didn't get stretch marks or saggy tits the first time they got big and then went back down to size. I won't take any further risks to my precious boobs. Furthermore, I've consistently maintained my weight at around 105 lbs. now for a few months, and I won't have my hard work of watching what I eat and making an effort to take walks defeated by a pill that causes me to gain 5 or 10 lbs. Fuck that shit; that's for 16 tear olds. I'm 23 and I deserve not to have any pubescent weight gain or teen chub due to a pill. I guess I will stay on Natazia and see what happens (even though I feel like I'm going to pass out after taking it because it makes me dizzy). Who knew birth control could be so fucking complicated? I also looked into other methods. I was advised against a IUD because they're only recommended for people who have had kids, and NuvaRing looked slightly intimidating because the side affects seemed rather nasty in some instances.
Today there's just no effing winning.
