- Sometimes I wonder why I am still starving myself and putting on eyeliner every day when I am a lost cause.
My Simplistic Little Life
Saturday, September 2, 2017
Living in NYC When You're Ugly, Undersexed, and Almost 30
I wasn't always like this - and by this I mean, "THIS" ugly. I was always ugly. Don't get me wrong. It's a sad day when you finally realize you are ugly and there is nothing that can be done about it. Weight loss, a prolonged state of anorexia to keep your unnaturally low weight maintained, a nose job, hair dye, makeup, and fashionable clothes can't even fix the state of ugly you are.
Friday, January 20, 2017
The End of an Era Part II (I Think...)
Well, Donald Trump is officially the President of the United States, and I am officially feeling old. Old and alone to be exact. Old and thin-lipped. Old and thin-lipped, but not as thin-bodied as I was just a year or so ago.
I am typing this from the toilet, where I have the heat fan on full blast, a half drank Heinekin sitting next to me (don't even ask.... we all know, I don't drink beer, but I'm in a desperate state and it's the only alcohol in the house), and I am wondering what happens next. Where do we go from here (to quote Guns n' Roses)? "Where do we go, where do we go now, where do we go
I know my life is good - I have a good life compared to a lot of people - compared to most people if we are being general. I want to establish the fact that I don't take this for granted; at least, I try not to take my life for granted most days.
I am packing up my apartment in preparation to move. Earlier in the day I was thinking about what a dark time America is entering into with our new President.... it seems unreal; but it is reality.
You know how we all think we are special? I guess it's just that internal voice - we are made to be egocentric. Well, I realized only recently I am not special.
I'm not sure why I ever thought that I was. Why do we exist? What is this world? Does anything really matter? What is real?
I'm moving to a scary neighborhood. I don't want to move. I have been here for four years. This is all I know.
I am typing this from the toilet, where I have the heat fan on full blast, a half drank Heinekin sitting next to me (don't even ask.... we all know, I don't drink beer, but I'm in a desperate state and it's the only alcohol in the house), and I am wondering what happens next. Where do we go from here (to quote Guns n' Roses)? "Where do we go, where do we go now, where do we go
I know my life is good - I have a good life compared to a lot of people - compared to most people if we are being general. I want to establish the fact that I don't take this for granted; at least, I try not to take my life for granted most days.
I am packing up my apartment in preparation to move. Earlier in the day I was thinking about what a dark time America is entering into with our new President.... it seems unreal; but it is reality.
You know how we all think we are special? I guess it's just that internal voice - we are made to be egocentric. Well, I realized only recently I am not special.
I'm not sure why I ever thought that I was. Why do we exist? What is this world? Does anything really matter? What is real?
I'm moving to a scary neighborhood. I don't want to move. I have been here for four years. This is all I know.
Sunday, October 23, 2016
Another Story
Once upon a time (because that's how the best stories start), there was a girl who just couldn't get it right. Despite her best efforts, nothing ever went the way she planned or the way she hoped. She wasn't the worst person in the world, but she was pretty close. She was a mess most days... actually, she was a mess everyday. When she drank she was an asshole, when she was sober she was severely introverted to the point of being painstakingly shy, and when she was on drugs, she was a party monster, albeit being everyone's favorite person to be around. She lived in a world of "what if"s, "someday"s, and "tomorrow will be better"s. You could say she was a dreamer, but baby, she wasn't the only one.
She was smart, but mostly just book smart; she could remember everything and had a photographic memory. She was well-read, well-written, and could pass tests without studying and still score higher than every other person in the class. However, she lacked common sense. She also lacked social smarts, and street smarts. One might ascertain she had Aspergers.. but that's debatable since she was never properly diagnosed by a licensed physician. If she had the gumption or type of personality conducive to climbing the social ladder and kissing ass, she probably wouldn't be the type of girl who has stories written about her, because she would be of little to no substance at all, like the majority of people inhabiting this world.
She was rather tall and had a pretty decent body without much effort. That is to say, she was slim and muscular without working out, however, she also had a slight layer of fat obscuring the real muscle definition that otherwise would have been much more visible. She could have been beautiful if she actually cared about her appearance of if she had the necessary funding to maintain herself. However, she wore a pair of Juicy Couture, rectangular, tortoise-shell glasses from 2007, had a serious fro of mouse-y, brown hair on her head, bad skin because she didn't eat healthy, nor could she afford a dermatologist to help her combat her adult, cystic acne, and her teeth were never very white from drinking too much wine and smoking too many cigarettes.
She did have remarkable bone structure, but you couldn't really tell this unless you were to observe her for several minutes, and by imagining what she might look like if you removed the glasses, which were otherwise obstructing a clean view of her cheekbones and straight, pointed nose. She probably could have been a model if she knew how to present herself and didn't live on a diet of Cheetos, Frito Lay chips, processed meats, and white bread.
Alas, she was who she was. And who she was was herself. And herself was called "Reyna." Reyna was a lost soul. She seldom had her life in order with all facets in balance. On the rare occasion that things were going smoothly ('things' referring to work, her love life, her social life, family life, and finances), it never lasted more than a couple of months before one area of life nose-dived again. She never really thought her life was any different from the lives of others; she just assumed that bad things happened to everyone and no one was ever really content with their respective state of being. She didn't realize that living one's life in a constant state of struggle, discontent, and stress wasn't the way which life was meant to be lived.
She didn't know what it felt like to be loved for who you really are, unconditionally. Sure, she knew the love of her parents, her siblings, maybe a couple close friends. But the love of a partner? No. She knew what it was like to give love unconditionally to a significant other, but she had never really been on the receiving end, or fully received back the love she put out.
At the time of this story, Reyna was in a four-year relationship with a man whom she loved, but in her heart, the deepest part of her heart, she knew that feeling wasn't mutual. Sure he said that he loved her, and they had certainly been together long enough to know each other inside and out, however, it never felt quite right when they were on a romantic date, hanging out with nothing to do in his apartment, or even when they were having sex. She cared for him with her heart and soul; she wanted to marry him someday, and she knew that she would be broken if they were to go their separate ways. However, she also undoubtedly knew that they weren't meant to last forever, and that eventually he would hurt her. But, instead of trusting and following her gut, she simply kept going onward, waiting for that day to come.
She could always sense these things about people. The subtleties and realities of another human's life that most people overlooked, but that she immediately picked up on, and always seemed to know where such anomalous traits would lead. It might have been this very trait of her own which caused her to be socially inept. She had a constant guard up, and only relaxed enough to be friendly or bond with someone once they proved them self to be trusting and loyal. This point usually came when she went out a friend and got black out drunk or took enough drugs to come close to an OD and said individual would end up having to care for her and subsequently counsel her in the days to come regarding her reckless behavior and emotional upheaval.
I digress. Reyna had reached yet another low point in her life, where everything that could possibly go wrong, started going wrong. She was laid off from the medical office where she had been working as a temp for the past two months, because the woman she took over for actually decided to return after her maternity leave.
Not only was she out of a job, but she also got evicted from her apartment, because they raised the rent to double the price she had been paying for the past four years that she lived there. She was forced to move in with her boyfriend, which would have been awesome under any other circumstances, however, she was more stressed by the fact she didn't have an income and there was already a strain on the relationship as a result of her stressful circumstances.
She had very few coping mechanisms in such times, and thus, turned to drugs, which wasn't the best solution, since she was flat-broke, and every penny should have been put toward rent and bills. She had a long-standing love/hate relationship with cocaine, but suddenly she found herself dreaming about doing lines. She would wake up craving it, although she knew that doing coke at a time like this would be absolutely detrimental to her mental and financial well-being. She found herself with more free time than she had had in a long time, more alone time than she had had in a long time as well, since her boyfriend often traveled out of town for a week at a time for work, and also because she wasn't going out with her friends. She was avoiding social engagements because she was embarrassed to tell her friends that she was unemployed, and she also couldn't afford to spend money on cab fare, food, or alcohol (which was the devil). Yes, I know what your'e thinking: she didn't have money to go out with friends, yet she had enough money to buy coke? Damn straight; she had her priorities worked out, and fake pleasure was priority number one.
One night, when her boyfriend was out of town, and she was home along for the third night in a row that week, she gave into her gnawing craving and dialed up her coke dealer. She told herself she would just do a couple of bumps to boost her morale and then hide the rest for a special occasion or night out. She ended up doing half a gram by herself over the course of one night. Her anxiety was then so out of control, that she couldn't sleep, even after lying in bed for 2 hours trying to relax her mind. Immediately, she regretted her foolish decisions.
The next day, was much worse. Reyna had remorse for spending money on blow, guilt for doing it alone in an empty apartment, lasting anxiety that life was in a terrible state of affairs, and of course, the urge to remedy the situation by doing a couple more bumps to start the day off a little more positively.
And so started a vicious, secret addiction. It was kind of like "My Secret Addiction" (the TV show..) but worse because no one at all knew, and no one at all could help. There was no intervention or free rehab about to happen here.
It spiraled out of control pretty fast. Unable to find steady employment, and needing to pay for her newfound addiction, Reyna was forced to take up stripping. Luckily, because her boyfriend was out of town so much, and thanks to her newly found ab muscles and tight gluts as a result of her addiction (hello weightloss!), she could both keep her profession a secret and was now looking hotter than ever.
If she wasn't a mess before, she sure was now. She was the poster-child for the term "little girl lost." She actually had conversations with her coke dealers when they delivered the goods, since she saw them twice a week now. Reyna knew she had a problem, she knew that coke was bad for her body and mind, and she knew this was something she didn't want anyone to find out about (which is always the biggest indication that a person shouldn't be doing what they're doing and that they have a legitimate problem). She knew she had the power to stop immediately and never start again. The thing is, she didn't want to stop.
Cocaine had become her best friend in the midst of the maelstrom that was her life. The storm that spun wildly out of control around her, while she stood powerless in the screaming winds and reached desperately outward for a hand to hold, was relentless and violent. She gave up trying to take regain control, and sought solace in what she now looked to as a permanent fixture in the heart of the chaos.
She found confidence, if only temporarily while the high peaked. She found something to look forward to. In fact, she looked forward to her next line 24/7. She found something that cured her boredom. Coke made what would have otherwise been the prospect of another dismal night home alone something to embrace. Being alone was OK when she had coke. It slowly consumed her day to day operations and she began to base her existence off of securing more blow, and rationing it out, three lines at a clip.
It came to a point where she knew she had a problem. She knew she reached a point in her addiction that people were going to find out, given that her behavior was noticeably different these days as she went from coke high to coke low and repeated the cycle. When she ran out of coke, or if she was in public when she came down off of it, every single person in her path was annoying. She couldn't stand the voices of other people, the noises of everyday life happening around her. She could only focus on getting safely back home where she could do more coke.
Her nose was always stuffed or running, and after a heavy binge she sometimes had blood in her snot. She already hated her nose, and was terrified of getting a hole in her septum or some other deformity. Despite her fear, it never prevented her from blowing more coke. Sometimes when she was high, she had this weird desire to pee on her floor. She just wanted to not move from where she was, and piss her pants. She always refrained from doing so, because she knew clean up would be a real bitch and that it was a nasty notion in the first place. It's just because, when she was high, she was so relaxed and cozy and content in both her body and her mind that she never wanted to move.
She started to get scared when her heart would be fast and her palms would sweat when she was doing lines alone. She knew that it wasn't a good sign when her sternum plate felt a heavy pressure, or when she felt like she had to meditate and breathe deeply in order to get her racing heart to slow to a somewhat normal beat. She wondered why she did coke at all. She sometimes wondered what would happen if she were to accidentally OD alone. Would she know she had ODed in time to call 911? Would she be able to call her boyfriend for help if she felt like she went to far? Or, would she stop breathing and pass out? It was a dangerous game. She knew she was a fool, but the high she chased was demanding and the craving was unrelenting.
She thought of the heartache she would cause her family, friends, and boyfriend if she were to accidentally OD and die from an addiction that no one even knew she was struggling with. Though she considered the possibility of death every time she sat down to do coke, a deep-rooted self-loathing and naivety kept her from stopping. The saddest part of doing this drug, was the immense emptiness she felt when she came close to finishing the vile. She was almost relieved when she finished it, because it meant it was gone: done, taken care of, no more. On the other hand of course, as any coke head will tell you, the problem with coke is that you constantly want more.
She would promise herself that this was it. She was done. But, the cycle would repeat. When she neared the last couple of lines or bumps at the bottom of the vile, she never knew if she should just finish that shit off altogether, or save the last of it for the morning. What option would be the most devastating on her psyche? Probably leaving some for morning, because then surely, the high would wear off in 20 minutes and she would be shit out of luck and craving more for the rest of the day. And so, she would finish it off the same night, and hate herself and her life as soon as the last of it was gone. She always knew waking up the next morning was going to be brutal.
She hated her world. But it was the world she created. Reyna kept starving herself, and buying blow. She died of a heart attack home alone one Saturday night while her boyfriend was on business.
The End.
She was smart, but mostly just book smart; she could remember everything and had a photographic memory. She was well-read, well-written, and could pass tests without studying and still score higher than every other person in the class. However, she lacked common sense. She also lacked social smarts, and street smarts. One might ascertain she had Aspergers.. but that's debatable since she was never properly diagnosed by a licensed physician. If she had the gumption or type of personality conducive to climbing the social ladder and kissing ass, she probably wouldn't be the type of girl who has stories written about her, because she would be of little to no substance at all, like the majority of people inhabiting this world.
She was rather tall and had a pretty decent body without much effort. That is to say, she was slim and muscular without working out, however, she also had a slight layer of fat obscuring the real muscle definition that otherwise would have been much more visible. She could have been beautiful if she actually cared about her appearance of if she had the necessary funding to maintain herself. However, she wore a pair of Juicy Couture, rectangular, tortoise-shell glasses from 2007, had a serious fro of mouse-y, brown hair on her head, bad skin because she didn't eat healthy, nor could she afford a dermatologist to help her combat her adult, cystic acne, and her teeth were never very white from drinking too much wine and smoking too many cigarettes.
She did have remarkable bone structure, but you couldn't really tell this unless you were to observe her for several minutes, and by imagining what she might look like if you removed the glasses, which were otherwise obstructing a clean view of her cheekbones and straight, pointed nose. She probably could have been a model if she knew how to present herself and didn't live on a diet of Cheetos, Frito Lay chips, processed meats, and white bread.
Alas, she was who she was. And who she was was herself. And herself was called "Reyna." Reyna was a lost soul. She seldom had her life in order with all facets in balance. On the rare occasion that things were going smoothly ('things' referring to work, her love life, her social life, family life, and finances), it never lasted more than a couple of months before one area of life nose-dived again. She never really thought her life was any different from the lives of others; she just assumed that bad things happened to everyone and no one was ever really content with their respective state of being. She didn't realize that living one's life in a constant state of struggle, discontent, and stress wasn't the way which life was meant to be lived.
She didn't know what it felt like to be loved for who you really are, unconditionally. Sure, she knew the love of her parents, her siblings, maybe a couple close friends. But the love of a partner? No. She knew what it was like to give love unconditionally to a significant other, but she had never really been on the receiving end, or fully received back the love she put out.
At the time of this story, Reyna was in a four-year relationship with a man whom she loved, but in her heart, the deepest part of her heart, she knew that feeling wasn't mutual. Sure he said that he loved her, and they had certainly been together long enough to know each other inside and out, however, it never felt quite right when they were on a romantic date, hanging out with nothing to do in his apartment, or even when they were having sex. She cared for him with her heart and soul; she wanted to marry him someday, and she knew that she would be broken if they were to go their separate ways. However, she also undoubtedly knew that they weren't meant to last forever, and that eventually he would hurt her. But, instead of trusting and following her gut, she simply kept going onward, waiting for that day to come.
She could always sense these things about people. The subtleties and realities of another human's life that most people overlooked, but that she immediately picked up on, and always seemed to know where such anomalous traits would lead. It might have been this very trait of her own which caused her to be socially inept. She had a constant guard up, and only relaxed enough to be friendly or bond with someone once they proved them self to be trusting and loyal. This point usually came when she went out a friend and got black out drunk or took enough drugs to come close to an OD and said individual would end up having to care for her and subsequently counsel her in the days to come regarding her reckless behavior and emotional upheaval.
I digress. Reyna had reached yet another low point in her life, where everything that could possibly go wrong, started going wrong. She was laid off from the medical office where she had been working as a temp for the past two months, because the woman she took over for actually decided to return after her maternity leave.
Not only was she out of a job, but she also got evicted from her apartment, because they raised the rent to double the price she had been paying for the past four years that she lived there. She was forced to move in with her boyfriend, which would have been awesome under any other circumstances, however, she was more stressed by the fact she didn't have an income and there was already a strain on the relationship as a result of her stressful circumstances.
She had very few coping mechanisms in such times, and thus, turned to drugs, which wasn't the best solution, since she was flat-broke, and every penny should have been put toward rent and bills. She had a long-standing love/hate relationship with cocaine, but suddenly she found herself dreaming about doing lines. She would wake up craving it, although she knew that doing coke at a time like this would be absolutely detrimental to her mental and financial well-being. She found herself with more free time than she had had in a long time, more alone time than she had had in a long time as well, since her boyfriend often traveled out of town for a week at a time for work, and also because she wasn't going out with her friends. She was avoiding social engagements because she was embarrassed to tell her friends that she was unemployed, and she also couldn't afford to spend money on cab fare, food, or alcohol (which was the devil). Yes, I know what your'e thinking: she didn't have money to go out with friends, yet she had enough money to buy coke? Damn straight; she had her priorities worked out, and fake pleasure was priority number one.
One night, when her boyfriend was out of town, and she was home along for the third night in a row that week, she gave into her gnawing craving and dialed up her coke dealer. She told herself she would just do a couple of bumps to boost her morale and then hide the rest for a special occasion or night out. She ended up doing half a gram by herself over the course of one night. Her anxiety was then so out of control, that she couldn't sleep, even after lying in bed for 2 hours trying to relax her mind. Immediately, she regretted her foolish decisions.
The next day, was much worse. Reyna had remorse for spending money on blow, guilt for doing it alone in an empty apartment, lasting anxiety that life was in a terrible state of affairs, and of course, the urge to remedy the situation by doing a couple more bumps to start the day off a little more positively.
And so started a vicious, secret addiction. It was kind of like "My Secret Addiction" (the TV show..) but worse because no one at all knew, and no one at all could help. There was no intervention or free rehab about to happen here.
It spiraled out of control pretty fast. Unable to find steady employment, and needing to pay for her newfound addiction, Reyna was forced to take up stripping. Luckily, because her boyfriend was out of town so much, and thanks to her newly found ab muscles and tight gluts as a result of her addiction (hello weightloss!), she could both keep her profession a secret and was now looking hotter than ever.
If she wasn't a mess before, she sure was now. She was the poster-child for the term "little girl lost." She actually had conversations with her coke dealers when they delivered the goods, since she saw them twice a week now. Reyna knew she had a problem, she knew that coke was bad for her body and mind, and she knew this was something she didn't want anyone to find out about (which is always the biggest indication that a person shouldn't be doing what they're doing and that they have a legitimate problem). She knew she had the power to stop immediately and never start again. The thing is, she didn't want to stop.
Cocaine had become her best friend in the midst of the maelstrom that was her life. The storm that spun wildly out of control around her, while she stood powerless in the screaming winds and reached desperately outward for a hand to hold, was relentless and violent. She gave up trying to take regain control, and sought solace in what she now looked to as a permanent fixture in the heart of the chaos.
She found confidence, if only temporarily while the high peaked. She found something to look forward to. In fact, she looked forward to her next line 24/7. She found something that cured her boredom. Coke made what would have otherwise been the prospect of another dismal night home alone something to embrace. Being alone was OK when she had coke. It slowly consumed her day to day operations and she began to base her existence off of securing more blow, and rationing it out, three lines at a clip.
It came to a point where she knew she had a problem. She knew she reached a point in her addiction that people were going to find out, given that her behavior was noticeably different these days as she went from coke high to coke low and repeated the cycle. When she ran out of coke, or if she was in public when she came down off of it, every single person in her path was annoying. She couldn't stand the voices of other people, the noises of everyday life happening around her. She could only focus on getting safely back home where she could do more coke.
Her nose was always stuffed or running, and after a heavy binge she sometimes had blood in her snot. She already hated her nose, and was terrified of getting a hole in her septum or some other deformity. Despite her fear, it never prevented her from blowing more coke. Sometimes when she was high, she had this weird desire to pee on her floor. She just wanted to not move from where she was, and piss her pants. She always refrained from doing so, because she knew clean up would be a real bitch and that it was a nasty notion in the first place. It's just because, when she was high, she was so relaxed and cozy and content in both her body and her mind that she never wanted to move.
She started to get scared when her heart would be fast and her palms would sweat when she was doing lines alone. She knew that it wasn't a good sign when her sternum plate felt a heavy pressure, or when she felt like she had to meditate and breathe deeply in order to get her racing heart to slow to a somewhat normal beat. She wondered why she did coke at all. She sometimes wondered what would happen if she were to accidentally OD alone. Would she know she had ODed in time to call 911? Would she be able to call her boyfriend for help if she felt like she went to far? Or, would she stop breathing and pass out? It was a dangerous game. She knew she was a fool, but the high she chased was demanding and the craving was unrelenting.
She thought of the heartache she would cause her family, friends, and boyfriend if she were to accidentally OD and die from an addiction that no one even knew she was struggling with. Though she considered the possibility of death every time she sat down to do coke, a deep-rooted self-loathing and naivety kept her from stopping. The saddest part of doing this drug, was the immense emptiness she felt when she came close to finishing the vile. She was almost relieved when she finished it, because it meant it was gone: done, taken care of, no more. On the other hand of course, as any coke head will tell you, the problem with coke is that you constantly want more.
She would promise herself that this was it. She was done. But, the cycle would repeat. When she neared the last couple of lines or bumps at the bottom of the vile, she never knew if she should just finish that shit off altogether, or save the last of it for the morning. What option would be the most devastating on her psyche? Probably leaving some for morning, because then surely, the high would wear off in 20 minutes and she would be shit out of luck and craving more for the rest of the day. And so, she would finish it off the same night, and hate herself and her life as soon as the last of it was gone. She always knew waking up the next morning was going to be brutal.
She hated her world. But it was the world she created. Reyna kept starving herself, and buying blow. She died of a heart attack home alone one Saturday night while her boyfriend was on business.
The End.
Random Sunday Night Thoughts
1. I miss having abnormal working hours so I could party on Sunday nights like the cool kids. I miss doing drugs on a random Sunday night at panther room, staying up until 7am, and then recovering Monday. I feel like such a boring loser now that I know if I am not sober and in bed by midnight on Sunday, my entire work week will be hungover hell.
2. I love when Lady Gaga starves herself back down to skinny status and walks around in micro shorts and navel grazing bodysuits. She should starve herself all the time.
3. I hate when people nap in my presence. If I wanted to be alone, I would be alone. Don't be in my apartment if you're planning on napping or sleeping while I am awake. I can't stand to be bored like this. Did I mention that I miss partying on Sunday nights? This is fucking torture sitting here remembering how I used to go out at like 11pm on Sundays dancing....
4. I am currently wearing 6 inch platform boots because I've been on a Halloween diet for the past two weeks and in order to motivate myself from eating more tonight, I have to have my stomach out and tall shoes on so I feel too sexy to eat. It works.
5. I hate when people look older than they actually are. It's so unfortunate and makes me wonder why they don't take a more proactive approach to taking care of their bodies etc. I also pray that I never look older than I actually am.
6. I hate Donkey.
7. I am clearly in a sour mood.
8. I need a vacation.
9. I am so bored.
10. I am evil.
2. I love when Lady Gaga starves herself back down to skinny status and walks around in micro shorts and navel grazing bodysuits. She should starve herself all the time.
3. I hate when people nap in my presence. If I wanted to be alone, I would be alone. Don't be in my apartment if you're planning on napping or sleeping while I am awake. I can't stand to be bored like this. Did I mention that I miss partying on Sunday nights? This is fucking torture sitting here remembering how I used to go out at like 11pm on Sundays dancing....
4. I am currently wearing 6 inch platform boots because I've been on a Halloween diet for the past two weeks and in order to motivate myself from eating more tonight, I have to have my stomach out and tall shoes on so I feel too sexy to eat. It works.
5. I hate when people look older than they actually are. It's so unfortunate and makes me wonder why they don't take a more proactive approach to taking care of their bodies etc. I also pray that I never look older than I actually am.
6. I hate Donkey.
7. I am clearly in a sour mood.
8. I need a vacation.
9. I am so bored.
10. I am evil.
Sunday, October 16, 2016
Still a Mess
I have given up on the idea of normalcy in my life. I am a fucking mess. I always have been, and I always will be.
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
Verbose
If you are a fan of electronic music (think deep-house and techno) and you are looking for the best parties of the summer, look no further. If you’re tired of spending your weekends hanging at Marquee, Space Ibiza, and Flash Factory just to fight your way through the crowds of 21 year old, EDM junkies to get to the bar, there is an answer to your problem. Brooklyn and surrounding areas just out of NYC can provide a chill, fun, and techno-infused party scene to better suit your developing music states and growing sophistication. Below, you will find a few of the hippest dance parties/festivals of the Summer, but don’t tell all of your friends, because even though these parties are far from being small, they still haven’t been completely infiltrated by hoards of neon-dressed college students discovering drugs for the first time.
- Brooklyn Mirage Opening & The Cityfox Experience, May 21st
The kick-off party of the summer, if you will, Cityfox parties never fail to disappoint, and neither does the Brooklyn Mirage. Located in Bushwick (because if you haven’t heard, that’s where the coolest parties are happening these days), The Brooklyn Mirage is primarily an outdoor venue, decorated as an oasis (palm trees and seating areas with pillows) and with both outdoor and indoor space, there is plenty of room for party-goers to get their groove on. The folks at Cityfox produce the most banging parties of this music genre, so if you’ve never been to a Cityfox party, make this your first and you will be hooked. The lineup includes favorites like Bilaliwood and Thugfucker.
2. Output Presents Adam Beyer and Julia Govor, May 28th
If you haven’t yet solidified your Memorial Day Weekend plans, or if you’ve simply decided to stay and chill in the quiet, sort-of-calm that is NYC over a holiday weekend in the summer, come to Output to celebrate Summer’s official start. Even the greenest of house/techno lovers have probably ventured to Output once or twice. Located right next to the Wythe Hotel in Williamsburg, Output used to be (and still is) one of the staple, electronic clubs on the scene. As equally frequented by die-hard, house music worshiping, hipster-types as it is by EDM loving, festival-going, wallstreet brokers, Output has a steady lineup of big name DJs as well as lesser known DJs who always deliver the goods in terms of danceable music. Now that the rooftop is open for the season, the club is even more favorable for a night of dancing and partying, as there is ample space to mingle and share a cigarette or chill and watch the Manhattan skyline. Adam Beyer (Drumcode), and Julia Govor (Cocoon), will set the mood for a chill party setting. If you need to switch it up halfway thru the night, their sister venue, Panther Room, is literally right next door, and offers a more intimate space and usually even deeper beats.
3. All Day I Dream of Sublime Summertime, June 5th
All Day I Dream parties are definitely a favorite amongst the more experienced, and shall I say, “refined” set of house music-loving partiers. The first All Day I Dream party of the summer will be taking place at…. You guessed it, The Brooklyn Mirage. Everyone who is anyone will be there, or at least in reference to anyone who lives, breathes, and sleeps this type of music. The lineup features Brooklyn crowd favorite, Lee Burridge, whom always lays down sick beats that are conducive to getting lost in the music, the crowd, and your own, eminent happiness. Death on the Balcony and Khoury are also slated to play. These parties generally seem to have an “anything goes” dress policy, so if you feel like putting some crystals on your face, or wearing a steampunk hat and latex thigh-highs, go for it.
4. I Feel, Summer Escape 2016, June 10th-12th
The “I Feel” parties are some of my personal favorites, although I’ve never been to their weekend getaway party, something tells me it would be just as awesome. The ‘I Feel’ parties are always themed, costume parties. There is a lot of room for self-expression, and the people who attend these parties are the chillest of the chill. Even if you were to go to one of these parties alone, you would probably make friends fast, and there is always an “anything and everything goes” atmosphere which is 100% conducive to a fun and chill time. The music has always been spot on as well. The Summer Escape will be taking place in the Catskills on a lake, and promises to deliver music, yoga, meditation, nature, art, and beach parties. This festival happens to be taking place the same weekend as Mysteryland, so if you are looking for a slightly more intimate festival setting, this is the perfect route to go.
5.Mysteryland, June 10-13th
The largest and most local festival of the season is happening in Upstate NY, only two hours from NYC. The festival grounds are located in Bethel Woods, NY, home of the original Woodstock. Mysteryland is definitely a more commercialized EDM event, compared to the other parties listed here, so if you aren’t a fan of large and condensed crowds, and people wilding out, perhaps this isn’t for you. The festival, which is held by Netherlands-based promoter, ID&T, features a lineup including world famous DJs such as Skrillex, Bassnectar, Odesza, Zeds Dead, and yes, Lee Burridge. The festival is going to be huge (last year there were 50,000 attendees), and there are a variety of camping and hotel packages available. I would recommend going the Airbnb route, if you can find an affordable accommodation within a reasonable distance from festival grounds. One never does know what the weather will be like in Upstate NY this early in the summer, and it’s best to always have a backup plan in the event that it rains for three days straight. There is no dress code, so this is the perfect opportunity to dress as scantily clad as you (or your physique) allow. Festivals this big are great to attend with an intimate group of friends.
6. Gratitude Migration: Summer Dream, July 15-17th
A community dedicated to creating transformative and uplifting experiences, this weekend escape is to be no exception. Taking place on a secluded beach in Keansburg, NJ, this is the perfect opportunity to escape the city for some good music, good vibes, and awesome people. Described as a sea-side oasis, this is the perfect opportunity to connect with like-minded, open-minded individuals, and indulge your senses, mind, and body in the groove of deep beats. With a line up of 15+ DJs, there is sure to be music to suit every member of your posse. When you’re not dancing, you can indulge your senses in yoga, mediation, art, and deep conversation. There are a variety of packages available to suit your needs or level of desire to party.
Articles I have to Shorten
Whether you live in Williamsburg, are visiting a friend who lives there, or you want to take your date or a group of friends to Brooklyn's "hippest" neighborhood for a night on the town, there are a variety of stellar places to grab a drink (or several....). There is a venue to support every budget and/or occasion, ranging from your typical dive bar, to an upscale rooftop club, and everything in between. With the surge of Michelin Star restaurants and cocktail bars featuring some of the best mixologists in town popping up all over this neighborhood, it's really no surprise that every weekend there is an influx of Manhattanites and tourists alike filtering off the Bedford stop. As someone who has resided on Bedford Ave. for the past four years, I am very familiar with where to go, and which places one should avoid at all costs. I am willing to share my all-time personal favorite locales with you, so you can impress your date, or spare yourself the agony of not knowing where to go and ending up somewhere unsavory.
1.Maison Premiere, Bedford Ave.
This will be the one and only establishment on this entire list that is located on Bedford Ave. Maison Premiere is an upscale oyster / cocktail bar and is the perfect place to bring a date, have a girls night with a small group of friends, or have a fancy, pre-dinner cocktail if you plan on making the rounds elsewhere for a later dinner engagement or party. The oyster selection is impressive, and the small plates on the menu are perfect for sharing and downright delectable. They do have a limited number of large plates for dinner, but I would recommend just sticking to cocktails and oysters. The cocktail selection is also expansive, and every cocktail I've had is amazingly executed. If you, or someone in your life, is an absinthe aficionado, you absolutely MUST bring them here. They have over 25 types of Absinthe on drip, as well as a number of specialty absinthe cocktails. The atmosphere is perfect for intimacy, with the dim lights, candles, and the oyster bar / bar situated in the very center of the establishment.
2.Extra Fancy, Metropolitan Ave.
Located on Metropolitan Ave., Extra Fancy is a short walk from the L-train, and perfect for grabbing some casual cocktails or a bite to eat with a group of friends or a date. Although the name might imply otherwise, this place isn't at all fancy in terms of atmosphere or dress (think hipsters with tattoos wearing tees and baseball caps), although the prices lean towards the fancy end of the spectrum. Cocktails are strong and delicious, but run around $14. Anytime I have had dinner here, I leave still hungry and short $110 though, so I would suggest just doing cocktails and maybe some small plates. The fries are out of this world good, and the kitchen is open until 2:30am, which is highly convenient if you're a night owl. They have a decent selection of oysters, an amazing $8 glass of house rosé, and an outdoor patio for those warm Summer nights or afternoons! Be warned, this place is a hipster favorite, and on random nights, they have a DJ spinning old vinyls, so it could get funky if you go late.
3.The Ides Rooftop at the Wythe Hotel, Wythe Ave.
If you are looking for the perfect place to enjoy some fresh air while taking in the Manhattan skyline and having a leisurely drink, this is the place to go. The Ides Rooftop, located at the top of the Wythe Hotel, has an upscale feel, great crowd, and upscale prices (a well-gin and tonic will run you $17). It gets rather busy during the afternoon on weekend days, so be prepared to wait in a mini queue downstairs if you plan to go on a sunny Saturday. The ambiance is great, with chill music playing in the background, plenty of seating both outside, and inside, and a good mix of people (foreign tourists staying in the hotel, fashion industry types, artistic types, older couples, etc.). It's an ideal locale to bring a first date, or your significant other for a sweet surprise, or to go with your friends for an after-dinner drink if you're in the neighborhood and feeling cool.
4.The Levee, Berry Street
This is a prime example of your classic, all-American dive bar. Situated across the street from Radegast Hall, this is the type of bar you come to get your drink on (ie. you plan to get intoxicated). The crowd is quintessential Williamsburg: twenty-something, hipster types swilling beer and playing pool. It's a great place to mingle, a good place to end up when they night is coming to an end, or the perfect place to bring your friend who is having relationship woes and needs a shot or two. Food is limited to hotdogs and chips, so eat beforehand if you plan on drinking heavily or aren't into processed cuisine.
5.TBA, Wythe Ave.
If you are into house / electronic music and looking to get your dance on, this is the place for you. TBA is great for a weekday night when none of the major clubs are open, but you still feel like partying and grooving to some deep-house or techno music. The place is popular amongst the Bushwick-rave set, and for good reason; the walls have lights which coordinate with the beat of the music, and the crowd is always chill and friendly. The bar itself offers your standard array of liquors and beer choices at pretty standard prices, however, they also have a small selection of specialty cocktails. If you are bored on a Tuesday night, but don't want to end up at a dive bar or shell out tons of cash drinking at a fancy rooftop, this is a great alternative.
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