Someone Please Alert CNN/NBC/ABC/FOX NEWS....

I got a new job!!!!! Yes, at last... I almost thought this day would never come.  I was legit at the end of my rope; like suicidal, debating quitting my current job without another job lined up and moving home;   losing my apartment and everything I have here in the city seemed like a pretty reasonable option as of late. I still cannot believe that I found a new job- a great fucking job at that.  One in an industry that I am excited to work in- in a location I am excited to work in, and with people I am excited to work with/for.  I don't think that it will really sink in for me until I start at my new position, but I already put my two weeks notice in and that too was surreal.  I thought I would cry tears of happiness when I got the job, but I am still not fully believing that is is my reality.  This kind of stuff does not happen to me... this must be some other girl's life...   I've spent countless days of my life applying non-stop over the past two years.

Like, an integral part of every day off is me sitting at my computer, scouring Craigslist, Indeed, FindSpark, Linkedin and sending out between 5-20 applications a day.  I must have been on at least 40 interviews over the past year of my life... not a single one of them ending in me getting a new job.  I have been rejected more times than I can count- some of the rejections hit me harder than others when they were jobs I genuinely wanted and was excited about.  Every time I heard back from a job I interviewed for with a rejection email, all I could think is "What is wrong with me?"- I revamped my resume more times than I can count, re-did my cover letter so that it was specific to every job I applied for, and always wrote 'thank you' follow ups after interviews.  Everyone in my life kept telling me the same thing every time I was let down: "You didn't get this job because something better is probably coming along in the future."  I tried to believe that, but it was hard when I hated my current job so much that I considered everything from nannying full time to going back to serving just so I could GTFO of retail.

Sitting here not applying to jobs on my evening off... how refreshing... I don't even know what to do with myself.

Well, all of my efforts have paid off.  I am going to be working for an awesome start-up called 'My Boss Blows Investor Money on Drugs and Burning Man R' Us" - it's basically an interactive site like Pandora is to music but for art and artists.  The offices are gorgeous, and the people working there are awesome.  I am going to be working as a neglected, unpaid, slave; my job entails finding artists, getting contact info, helping with the social media pages, and eventually helping the artists set up and promote shows.  I am so excited to start that it's mind blowing.... work that I actually want to do? That's unheard of!  haha.  And I get to wear whatever I want ;) Hellllllooooo high heels everyday ;) I am so lucky that I found this job and that I am going to be a part of this team! I'm excited the company is small and I can have a major part in helping them grow since the team is so incredibly small as well.  I'm going to be surrounded by creative individuals in a creative environment, using my brain, using my talent, and happier than I have been in a long time.

Considering that almost every fucking blog written in the past two years was generally based around my on-going job hunt, fruitless interviews, uncounted rejections, and my overall discouragement, I'm sure this will come as welcome news to anyone reading this.  WTF am I even going to write about now?!

When I came home the other night after receiving the official proposal email, I felt like I should be greeted by news crews outside of my home.  Every single person in my life or who knows me knows how much I wanted a new job and how hard I've been trying.  I felt like if I walked into Times Square, the TV screens would be announcing that I found a new job: "BREAKING NEWS: Girl who spent the past two years of her life applying and interviewing FINALLY gets new job"   lol.  I feel like I need to write an acceptance speech- this is legit all I have wanted for the past two years.  It's better than receiving an Oscar.  Every time my boyfriend or family has asked what I want for Christmas or my Birthday, my response has consistently been "a new job."  I am lucky that I even have a family and friends and a boyfriend left after all the stress I've put them through with my job search.  I don't know who is happier- me, or them...


I was off work these past two days and I didn't even know what to do with my time since I no longer feel compelled to sit at my desk surfing the internet for new jobs and applying non-stop.  This feels unnatural even as I type this right now not to have a looming anxiety in my head that I should be searching for and applying to jobs...

My Job/Oscar Acceptance Speech:

"I would like to thank everyone for all of the support over the last two years.  I'd like to thank my family for listening to me sob over the phone every time I thought I couldn't possibly go on and for continually giving me words of encouragement that things would work out and I would find something if I kept trying and didn't give up.  I would like to thank every single person who tried to hook me up with a job connection; even though not a single one of them panned out.  I would like to thank all of the friends who put up with my incessant bitching over my current job, and the anxiety I would get every time I had an interview and was waiting to hear back.  I would like to thank every friend who was there to take care of me and/or save my life when I got completely inebriated due to the stresses of my current life and job situation.  I would like to thank all of the people who were rooting for me and helped me out in any way they could- whether it was helping me to revise my resume, putting in a good word with someone they knew at a company I applied for, or giving me other work to do on the side for extra income.  I would like to thank my boyfriend who had to hold me through several mental break downs every time I wanted to just give up and didn't know why I kept applying.  I would like to thank every single person that I work with who has enjoyed working with me and gave me a reason to look forward to work every day- even though I hated my job, at least I've met some amazing people and life-long friends in that place."

For Better or Worse

Another Halloween (Slutoween) has come and gone... it's hard to believe that this year is almost over.  I cannot believe how fast it has flown by and once again, how little I have failed to accomplish in terms of all of the goals I set for myself 11 months ago.  I have been in over-drive mode searching for a new job to ring in the New Year- I've been further motivated by my boyfriend getting a new job as well as the fact that all of my friends have succeeded in getting the f*ck out of retail. My boyfriend has left Highline- I never thought the day would come.  Highline has been an integral part of our relationship for the past two and a half years now... I mean, it's where we met, so it will always have a very special place in my cold, blackened heart (*cue Rhianna's song "We Found Love In A Hopeless Place").   Highline is where I met my first NYC friends, where I met my boyfriend, the place I go when I feel like raising hell, the place I went to meet my boyfriend and say 'hi' to everyone even after I had quit there.... I know he will certainly be happier, and hopefully I will too, but it's hard to let go of such a huge part of one's life.  I honestly thought I would have a new job before he did... lord knows I search way harder and invest way more hours applying and actively interviewing.  His new job is much better though, and hopefully will be better for our relationship- he will have a better schedule and weekends off at his new place.  I'm also praying there are less sluts and naked dancers, but I went to check his new place out Friday night and saw two hos wearing leotards and masquarade masks so I'm not getting my hopes up ;)  You know sluts and nightlife just go hand-in-hand.  

It almost scares me that he is going to have weekends off since I have to ask in advance for a weekend and usually end up having to use a personal day or vacation day to get a Saturday off.  I guess I better get the f*ck on board, or I'll never see him again, because lord knows there is no such thing as a "weekend" at my current job.  I haven't had a proper holiday break in three years, nor have I had a Thanksgiving home with my family in three years.  I truly hope something pans out soon.  I've sacrificed to many important dates that I should have been with my family and friends these past years I've been sucked into the black hole that is retail.  I've had a couple of great interviews in the past week and have been applying non-stop.  Something has to give soon... I can feel it.  When the day comes that I get a new job, and believe me, it will come soon, I'm going to celebrate within an inch of my life.   Like, champagne, drugs, a three day bender in Woodstock.... I want to go all out. 

Halloween was pretty awesome this year... I didn't even get too wild, which is always a win for me.  I dressed as The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo ( I know, I'm boring... I dressed as the same thing two years ago; but I like to think I did it MUCH better this time around).  I went to Highline after work with two of my close friends, my boyfriend was able to get out early and then we went back to BK and went to Verboten where I must have blacked out because I barely remember it.  When I awoke November 1st, I had a broken wine glass in the bathroom, my friends asleep on the couch, and half eaten tacos and tostadas scattered throughout the apartment.  I'd say it was a very successful night ;) 

The partying did not end there though- My bf just celebrated a birthday which basically entailed three straight nights of partying... good thing we were both off of work.  I had almost forgotten what it was like to go out on a Friday night for dinner and drinks when the rest of the world is off.  It was a nice change. 

My Lisbeth Salander (aka "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo") look for Halloween.  Note the awesome bleached brows, fake piercings, chopped black wig, and fake tattoo....  I really outdid myself this year. 

Black on Black- mostly just an everyday look for me ;) I like my clothes to match my soul.

Naturally, unlike Lisbeth who dresses like a conservative goth-type, I needed to slut it up with painted on leggings, a crop top, and 7 inch platform Jeffrey Campbell Booties... you know how I do. 

Other than spending hours every day searching for better jobs, I have been doing a ton of cooking and went to the last two concerts I had planned this year.  I went to see Garbage with a girlfriend a few weeks ago.  Shirley Manson effing rocks!  Not to mention the fact that she is 50 and hot as ever.  The venue where we saw her was also amazing.  I went to see Chris Cornell (of Soundgarden) play a solo, acoustic show, about a week after that.  I saw him play at the Beacon Theater, which is located on the upper West Side.  That theater was also beautiful- super old, gorgeous architecture and interior.  

Chris Cornell is by far the best concert I have been too this year.  His voice and talent are just amazing- he rivals Jeff Buckley for me in terms of best male voice.  He also had a very powerful stage presence.  Too bad his wifey was watching in the wings... jk ;) lol.  He is fucking hot though....

The ceiling of the Beacon Theater... so pretty.  

I think my ultimate goal for the future is to have my own restaurant.  My brother and I have been discussing the idea a lot recently.  We both love cooking, I think I like more labor intensive meals with rich sauces, and touches that take more time to put together.  However, he has been foraging a lot for wild mushrooms etc. lately, so we are thinking eventually we can have a restaurant where we combine organic or foraged food and incorporate that into cooking.  This is what's for din din tonight:

I just can't quit that red meat....