Octopussy- I love food.

I am gearing up for the Nine Inch Nails/Soundgarden concert this Saturday... I have literally been waiting all summer, fucking salivating over the songs on my Pandora stations (and salivating over Chris Cornell... jk- but not really...) waiting for this epic concert.  I know, I'm pathetic ;)

No, but honestly.... I have only been this excited for a concert once before... well maybe twice before;  I was pretty stoked for Silverchair the summer I was 19 (I was in love with Daniel Johns at the time) and pretty excited for the Kings of Leon concert at Madison Square Garden that my sister got me tickets for.  I've never been to an outdoor arena concert before, and the fact that my boyfriend and I are taking a party bus is very exciting to me... this way I we can get wasted and not worry about anything.  PERFECT :D Not to mention, this is literally the first weekend I had had off in months.  I NEVER take weekends off since it isn't really conducive to my schedule, but the fact that I'm going to party hard on a Saturday night and then spend Sunday hungover as fuck (like a normal person) is kind of thrilling to me. I usually party on a Sunday or in the middle of the week and hate my life because I still have to go into work at like 1pm or 4pm the next day.

I know- the video is pretty freaky-deaky, but I can't wait to hear this song live!

And of course I can't wait to hear this classic...   

I think Sunday afternoon, despite whatever hangover or come down I'm dealing with after Saturday's festivities, I want to try to film that Kickstarter video for "Not Your Grandma's Meatballz" (please refer to previous entry if you're wondering what "Not Your Grandma's Meatballz" is).  I have to get this shit up and running.  I've been making some pretty epic meals lately.  Last weekend, my boyfriend and I decided to cook Octopus (hence the title of this blog).  We purchased a 2.4 lb. Octopus at Chelsea Market and after reviewing a few Youtube videos on how to properly cook the octopus, we made the most delicious pasta of all time... here are some pictures documenting the best pasta I've ever had:

Not very appetizing looking, I know.  The texture was so weird; part of me cringed everytime I touched it, and another part of me wanted to keep feeling it... I'm a freak.  I was proud of myself though, because I cut its eyes out and took the beak out... I'm such a badass.

Yes, those are corks in the water.  The youtube video we watched on how to cook it instructed us to put corks in the water because apparently they prevent the meat from becoming rubbery due to some chemical compound, and also they help eliminate the fishy odor.  

Cutting the cooked octopus up... a man's job. 

I made the sauce from scratch... it was so F*cking good... 

The finished product... voila!  

The weekend before was a total meatball fest... we made both Swedish meatballz and meatballz with mini mozzarella ballz in the center... needless to say I'm now morbidly obese.  

I will be sure to post a blog sometime next week to update you on the meatball project on Kickstarter (I'm sure I'll look like absolute hell after partying all night Saturday), and probably throw up some slutty pictures of whatever slutty outfit I wear to this concert (you know how I do... there is a reason I won't get Instagram...).  Hmm... decisions decisions.  I know that it's an outdoor arena, but how can a high-heel slave such as myself really forgo high heels ????  I can't.  Besides, an extra 6 inches will help me see over the crowd.   I'm sure I'll end up wearing my Jeffrey's as per usual with pants down to my crotch (what's new?) and some shirt up to my tits.   I can't help it.   Whatever...  It's summer.   Better flaunt that shit before it's gone someday anyhow... (and by "someday" I mean like, three months from now, after I've overdosed on meatballs and my boyfriend's carbonara and one-too-many bottles of Rose to my face night after night).  I'm so classy ;) 

Sigh.  

God bless summer.  and food.  and the freedom to dress half naked.  God bless America.   And rose.  And life.  

A post about nothing and meatballz

Sitting here bored out of my mind... it's my first day off after seven straight days of working either a 4pm-1am or 1-10pm shift, and yet I am not even enjoying it because I have no plans tonight.  I know... you're probably thinking, "cry me a river bitch," well, perhaps I will...  The way I see it, I spent all day catching up on the things I needed to do (ex. groceries, cleaning, job-searching, etc), and now I wish I could go out and have some fun, but alas, everyone fun is working, my friends, boyfriend, everyone....

In other news, today wasn't a total failure, because I heard back from a writing job I applied to over a month ago.  Untitled-Magazine contacted me and wanted me to submit three proposals for topics to write about... if they like any of my topics, they will let me write the article for possible publication, which is f*cking awesome!!!!!!  :D :D :D :D :D <---- that's me right now.  I'll be the happiest girl in the world if they want me to be a contributing writer, if not... I'll drown my sorrows in alcohol and drugs (jk) and turn instead to my next brilliant idea, "NOT YOUR GRANDMA'S MEATBALLZ."

Yep, that's correct ladies and gentlemen, my boyfriend and I want to make a kickstarter account where we acquire funding to travel the world learning about meatballs in different areas, making a compilation of recipes from various regions, turning said recipes into a cookbook in addition to an online cooking show, and send a portion of the proceeds to foodbanks across the nation (or maybe the ASPCA.. we haven't quite figured out all of the details yet).  The idea was born out of our love of meatballs, my love of cooking, his love of pasta, and the day we spent last week making two different types of meatballs (Swedish meatballs with pumpernickel and granny smith apples, and spicy meatballs with mozzarella balls inside).  It's no wonder I've packed on about ten pounds in the past couple of months... I'm lucky I'm not morbidly obese at this point.

Anyhow, my boyfriend came up with the idea for a kickstarter account involving the meatball project we had in mind... I mean, if people can garner upwards of $50,000 to make potato salad on kickstarter, why the fuck not give it a go? We are going to make a short video explaining our idea as well as providing a cooking segment on how to make basic meatballs.  Anyhow, the project is going to be called "Not Your Grandma's Meatballz."  Stay tuned, I will be sure to post links on this blog and my facebook once it is up and running... and yes, this is one project I intend to fully follow through with.  So believe me when I say, it will be up and running within the next month or so.

In other-other news, I have resumed work on my book.  I thought I was finished and had started editing it, but then I just had so much more to say because my life suddenly took a turn for the wild and exciting.  I wonder if I will ever be done... maybe when my life mellows out and flatlines and I live a more boring existence I will have nothing left to say and then it will be done.  Honestly, I hope to never see that day though.  I guess I better just wrap it up and call it good.

I think I also need to start a kickstarter account to fund a multi-thousand dollar shopping spree, because I have seriously been wearing the shit out of these boyfriend Jeans from Hco since I bought them two months ago.  I LOVE THEM, but I need new clothes... contributions anyone???? ;)  Later this night, I barfed all over myself in Electric Room.. always keeping it classy. 

I've been thinking a lot about resumes and how much they either tell or don't tell about a person.  I'm starting to think resumes are complete bullshit.  I mean, I know they are an integral part of applying to jobs and crucial to whether or not an applicant gets called for an interview, but honestly, how would someone know how amazing I am simply from looking over my resume of shitty, dead end jobs that I really only ever worked at out of desperation for money as opposed to an actual desire to work for said company? I want to establish a new breed of resume where people brag about the skills that they pride themselves on and other people appreciate and take note of.  I think I want to revise my resume to include all of my truly defining and mostly endearing characteristics and skill set.  If in the real world, a person's character and defining personality traits and most cherished talents were considered, I'm pretty sure I would have found my dream job a while ago.... 

I cannot wait for the Soundgarden/Nine Inch Nails concert I'm going to in August!!!!  I've been on a real 90's kick lately and have 'Shine' by Collective Soul and 'I Alone" by Live playing on repeat.  I'm so pumped... I've never even been to an outdoor concert!!!  Well, minus the exception of some blues festival I went to... but that certainly isn't the same as NIN...  I also have some other goals I MUST accomplish before this summer is over.   I've never been to a 'proper' NYC brunch- you know, the kind that takes place on a rooftop and is basically like a club/raging party happening during the day... I need to check that off my list.  Also, I want to do an afterhours party, since the afterhours party I intended to go to on New Years Day was a no go and I still haven't been to one!  I am also going to Maine on vacation with my family in August which I am looking forward to since I missed out on the last family vacation.  This summer is thankfully shaping up to be much more exciting and productive than last years... :) 

What a Year/I Just Scrubbed My Toilet

June 29th, 2am

Dear readers, this is what my life has come to... scrubbing my toilet and folding laundry on a Saturday night.  WTF.  I am in my prime and this is how I spend a Saturday night?  The nicest stomach I will ever have, the nicest ass I will ever have, the most fun I will ever be, and I sit home in a pair of sweats at my computer.  See... I knew I should have kept looking for a part time job on the weekends so as to prevent this type of boredom!

I mean I had some fun on Thursday night this week, and that ended very badly (I won't go into details).  I also had lots of fun on Monday night, and that too ended badly (again, I CAN'T go into details...).  I will say that I met some really cool and interesting people, but I really need to control myself.  Jesus.  Will I ever learn my limit????  I mean, I technically know my "limit" but sometimes it is fun to push it a little ;)  especially when fun people and fun situations and fun places are involved... oh well.  I won't tell you about my rebel antics, I'll let you guess what fun things I may or may not have been up to ;)

Sometimes I don't even know who I am anymore.  The shit that I do on a regular basis I never would have imagined myself doing a few years ago... who am I??? (<----  said in manner of Derek Zoolander staring into the puddle at his reflection).  Oh well.  It's a fun ride, even if the consequences of my actions make me doubt my future and leave me in emotional turmoil.  Maybe it isn't a fun ride seeing that statement... actually, perhaps it is good that I'm sitting here bored out of my fucking mind instead of getting wasted and emotional.

FML.

My party earlier this month was a success I think....  It was really fun and I think that the people who came enjoyed themselves.  I definitely have enough liquor left over for a few more parties seeing as how we bought $400 worth of liquor and wine at cost... I'm talking $6 bottles of bubbly and $2 bottle of rose.  Needless to say I haven't made a trip to the wine or liquor store in the last few weeks following my party ;)   However, my c*nty building manager wrote me a nice email informing me that one of my guests left a bottle of wine in the elevator... and asked me if I wanted to watch the video surveillance so that I could identify which guest it was.  What a fucking c*nt.  I should post a copy of the email she sent... it is so offensive and ridiculous.  Then again, this is the same bitch that sent me an email on a rainy day and asked me to move my umbrella from the hallway where I left it to drip-dry into my apartment... what a psycho.

I've been feeling extra crazy lately.  I am not really sure why... but it is a good thing that I'm going upstate on Monday with my boyfriend and friends.  Hopefully I can unwind a bit.  I don't like to be this crazy... It's definitely not a good when my insanity is paired with alcohol and other crazy people.  Whatever.  I guess I'm still young enough to be crazy, though I don't really like being crazy.  Sometimes it's fun, but mostly it's not.



JULY 5th, 2am

Dear readers, I'm back from a blissful trip upstate with my boyfriend and a couple of friends.  I wish I was still there...

This was the view from the tower of the place we rented... fucking amazing.  I am in LOVE with airbnb.com.  Here a more photos of the place... it was on a mountain with tons of woods surrounding it and an awesome deck and hot tub... https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/776525?s=aVj0   I wanted to convince the owner to let me live there for the next month or two and renovate the place- I wouldn't even charge her; she could just let me stay for free and provide me with wine and cheese.... Oh well, I'm back in the city now.  Time to start planning my next trip before the NYC insanity sets back in... Lord help me and my boyfriend and my friends and my family....

Anyhow... despite the fact that we were only there for a few days, the trip was great and exactly what I needed to unwind.  We did a lot of grilling ( I consumed upwards of 10 hotdogs over the course of two days), explored the town, watched the USA soccer match with the locals in a little bar, hung out in the hot tub, and consumed far too much alcohol.  We even invited a random local back to hang out with us... it was too fun.   I think I need a good, solid month of that type of lifestyle.  I am so chill and nice to be around when I'm not working at the job I hate or dealing with city life and all of the stress that goes with it.  

I cannot believe how fast this past year has flown by... it's incredible.  Today is the one year anniversary of the first date with my boyfriend... the most epic date in history (I like to think so anyhow... it sure is the best date I ever had).  In honor of this epic occasion, I will give you a brief history of the events/circumstances leading up to this date.

I had a major crush on my boyfriend for months before he asked me out.  When he finally asked me on a date, I couldn't believe that it was real life.   Well, as you all know from previous entries, we used to work together.  Back then, I was a server in addition to doing late-night door hostessing.  We were set to go on this date on July 5th.  The night before our first date, which was last July 4th, Highline hosted a Verboten party and I was serving.  I became incredibly intoxicated along with one of my friends since the party was relatively boring and the bartender kept giving us shots.  By the end of the night, all hell broke loose and though I won't go into details (for all of our sakes), I acted the fool.  I remember being in a cab on the way home at like 6:30am (those parties went until 5/6am), and the sun was up and it was already hot as fuck outside.  I got home to my apartment and proceeded to order a large burger and fries which I half-devoured before throwing the rest to my then-foster-cats.  

When I woke up around 11am, I found the half eaten burger, had the spins, and could still taste the Jameson on my breath.  I felt disgusting and then the panic of what I had said/done the night before set in.  I was pretty sure that in addition to not wanting to go out with me after seeing me in my drunken state the night before, that my boyfriend was also probably going to fire me since I was drunk at work.  Alas, he texted me a few hours later and we met up around 5pm for a drink at the Gansvoort hotel rooftop before going on a sailboat cruise down the Hudson.  The date lasted about 15 hours and I still smile thinking about it.  

It feels like we've only been dating a few months even though today officially makes it a year... it's been a great year in my life- I've done a lot of new things, gone on a lot of adventures, learned a lot about myself, learned a lot about other people, and had way more fun than I probably should have- JK, one can NEVER have too much fun ;)