Fine day for America

Oh what a fine day.  I'm not particularly political, but Osama Bin Laden's death made my night, and is making my day.  Obviously this does not solve the issue of terrorism, but it is one step closer to eradicating the source.  President Obama's speech warmed my heart and soul last night and made me proud to be an American for the first time in years.  I've been feeling particularly political lately.  It's strange... I guess I really am getting older.  I found myself fretting about clean water the other day after watching Josh Fox's film, Gasland.  Not only was a fretting about the water supply of this nation, but it really made me think about how much I overlook the fact that necessities like water have been provided to me without question, since birth.  People die all over this world from contaminated water or lack of water, and here I've been able to trust the water flowing from my tap for 23 years without question.  I felt so politically motivated after the film, that I considered joining the Peace Corps to serve the world that has served me.  However, that idea was quickly shot down when my mom reminded me of the time I cried because I went to a friend's house when I was 5 and their parents smoked.  I thought they were bad people as a result, and called my mom crying.  She picked me up and later asked what the problem was.  I told her they smoked and she shook her head.  I've always been a crier, what can I say?  I cried watching Shiloh when his owner hit him, I cried because I wanted to get married and be in love when I was 3 and couldn't.  Naturally, seeing impoverished families or animal/human cruelty would never fly.  I'd be a wreck.  Also, I read several articles about how the peace corps can be really dangerous for women in certain areas of the world, because they are extra prone to sexual assualt.  That wouldn't fly with me either.  That and I'm terrified of bugs... all of them.  So, for now I think I will find ways to contribute to the causes and efforts I feel strongly about from my own soil.  Maybe I can just start spending more time volunteering or working with children.  I have an entire summer ahead of me.  But I do need money.  Desperately.  As soon as I have these two, 12-page papers written, my one 5 page paper written, and my presentation done I will seriously job search.  I must find the motivation, and I must find it straight away.  I cannot wait to see my bf... that should be motivation in itself.  Seeing him without worrying about school work to do should prompt me to do my school work...but I hate it so.  If I had money, I would bribe myself, but I can't go around blowing 200 dollars on a pair of shoes or sexy dress right now.  Making matters worse, all of my paper subjects are on emo issues.  I'm writing one on Billie Holiday, a sexually abused prostitute and drug addict who couldn't keep a man to save her life.  The next paper is on lynching...and how the women left behind were affected by the loss of their husbands/sons/brothers.  And the third paper is on a book by Eric Gansworth called "Smoke Dancing."  A book about Tuscorora Indians on a reservation who have well water contaminated by leech beds and barrels of pollutants buried near by.  I may become an alcoholic writing about these issues. haha.  Oh well, I will do it because I have to, and I will do it well.

College- Self Portraits Over the Past 5 Years

I've always had a minor (major) obsession with taking pictures of myself.  I don't know why... I'm a freak.  My habit of taking mirror pics started Senior year of high school, and once I got my (at that time) brand new Mac, the built in camera made self-portraiture extra convenient.  Whenever I was bored with homework and at my desk at FIT, I would do the best thing I could think of.... take a picture of myself.  They're all in my computer now, and looking through all of them the other night made me think about how much I've grown and changed, and how different the 'real world' seems to me, 5 years after graduating high school.  Below are the pictures in reverse-chronological order (newest to oldest).

For the first time since the age of like 8 (don't ask... I did Acro), I'm getting abs... I don't even know how... I am seriously lazy... I don't deserve to have them.  I have been walking a lot and eating like, no sugar- but still.

I was waiting to go out to one of the seediest local bars... you can't tell but I'm wearing harness boots and a GD moomoo... I like to dress as asexually as possible when going out to the local watering holes so as to deflect predators. 

My friend's Bday party:  I sent my bf a pic of myself before I got too trashed since he couldn't be there.  This is my fave sexy dress ever, and before I let my ears close up (for the third time...I'm giving up piercing them).  It was a fun night.

The sick Halloween costume I never got to wear.  I made this baby from scratch (minus the corset).  This was right after my gma passed away and I spent an entire weekend sewing to distract myself from my thoughts.  I'd also dropped a shite ton of weight because I was too sad to care about food. 

I couldn't believe that they were peddling this slutty playboy set at Claires (a store targeted to little girls and teens).  Naturally I had to scoop one up for myself.  

Right before Christmas, 2009... I was so innocent.

A boy who, for the purposes of privacy remain nameless, had just broken my heart.  He invited me on a date, got me super high and drunk, attempted to take advantage of me... and when I resisted called me a bitch.  I never heard from him after that day (which I realized a year later was for the best), but nonetheless, I was sad.  I even made him some sick cookies.  I was probs day drinking and wearing heels to make myself feel better when I snapped this little pic.  My chest also looks huge here... why would he ever mistreat this? lol

Looking alien. 

This is a real freaky deaky picture as well.  I had just transferred from FIT to SUNY Oneonta and it was a major life change.  I am pretty sure this was the first day of classes and I came home and changed into comfies, consisting of the red dragon tshirt I mutilated to fit my style.  My skin was luminous and the only make up I was wearing was mascara (otherwise I'd look like an egg). 

2007:  Emma was still nice to me.

I look like a baby here.  I can't believe I was ever that young. 

What a sexy lion's mane I had going on.

Fall, 2006:  One of the very first pictures I took with my Macbook.  School had just started and I was home on a weekend break from FIT.  Dustin and I were both ickle freshies.