This isn't me.

I've decided blogs are a bit, self-absorbed.  And if you know me, despite the fact I feign insecurity, I am, at the end of the day, a little bit too into myself.  Or am I?  I don't know, honestly; I feel like I alternate by thinking I'm fat and busted and thinking I'm pretty decent.  Hell, maybe I fake being into myself to cover my insecurities....perhaps they're really interchangeable.  I don't know.  All I know is that this blog was NOT my idea; it was my sister's idea.  She practically held me at gunpoint to do one. I'm not sure why, I don't find myself funny.  In fact, if I were you and you were me, and I was reading this, I'd be annoyed at you.  I might even hate you if you were me and I was you.  But alas, I am me, and you are you.  God, this is so ridiculous.  If you read this, you can expect my entries to be few and far between.  This is harkening back to the days of my emo blues writing insane thoughts in diaries and journals that I would later look back on and wonder WTF I was thinking.  Pathetic.  This is shameful behavior.  I should be working right now; lord knows I need money to afford the lifestyle I demand.  But times are tough, and this economy blows hardcore.  I've considered stripping, but my dignity is too high for that.  I would love the sexy little costumes and outrageously high heels, but my sweet ass is too classy for the 'gentlemen' in these parts of upstate.  Besides, I'd come home feeling degraded and dirty... and my bf would not approve.  Nor would I want him to approve (what kind of bf would be ok with their gf prancing around naked in front of nasty men?).   I've considered selling my artwork recently, but I don't think that the market in upstate New York would be very profitable.  My work is a bit, 'emo,' and I doubt the old farts buying artwork here would want anything other than a watercolor of a barn or landscape.  I need to find a way to make money in order to finance my addiction to lingerie and sky-high heels and to visit my bf and get out of gloomy upstate asap though, because the grey trees, grey ground, and dirty roads just aren't caressing my fragile soul the way it needs to be coddled.  I have a couple of new ideas for comic books.... one of which is based loosely on my alter ego, Emo Max, and is titled:  "I want you to WANT to fuck me, But I don't wanna Fuck you."  My other current comic idea is titled, "Mrs. Griggles; the drunk party clown."  I'm feeling pretty blah today though, and starting this blog has been a pretty combative effort betwixt me and my sane mind, so I'll say I've already been productive enough for my Wednesday.